I must start by admitting that I frequently misspeak, often sing the wrong lyrics to popular songs, have been known to call people by the wrong name to their face for an entire day, and have misused a theological term or two during my ministerial career. These are just a few of the mishaps I commit; there are many many more and I apologize for no specific example at this time.
All that being said, I had a wonderful weekend of being out and about and overhead some other people misunderstanding the world and words around them.
Friday night:
Drew and I had a date night and found ourselves at Spin! Pizza where I could enjoy both of my dessert desires: wine and ice cream (it’s gelato technically at Spin! and it’s delicious!) We sat at the bar alone for a few minutes until a woman saddled up a couple stools down from us. When the bartender asked for her order she started out simply:
Woman: “I’ll have a small pizza and a drink please.”
Bartender: “What kind of crust?”
Woman: “I’d like the gluten free and whole wheat crust”
Bartender: “Um, we cannot do both of those. You have to choose either gluten free or whole wheat.”
Woman: “Oh. Gluten free then.”
And on she went to drink a glass of wine, sort through her wallet receipts and then take her pizza to-go. We were left to think that instead of suffering from Celiac disease, this woman was trying to make a healthy choice and the menu became just a little too confusing. Unfortunately, she paid an extra $3 for that gluten free crust!
Saturday afternoon:
I took some personal time to work and read away from the house. I also had couple things on my Target list (and literally, this time, I only bought those 2 things!!!) so I ended up at the Target Starbucks. The room was pretty empty and quiet and the coffee hot. I was sitting working on my computer around the corner from the ordering counter when I overheard this interaction:
Man: “I’d like a cup of fresh brewed coffee please.”
Barista: “Ok which roast? We have Pike’s Place, our Blonde roast which packs the most caffeine for your buck today, or the dark roast Sumatra.”
Man: “Just a cup of fresh brewed coffee please.”
Barista: “Yes sir. They are all fresh brewed…I just need to know what type you’d like.”
Man: “I’d like fresh brewed.”
Barista: “Yes sir, these are all fresh brewed. They are a little different type of brew. “(She lists the three types again)
Man: “They are all fresh brewed?”
Barista: “Yes”
Man: “Ok, the last one you said then.”
The barista then boggled his mind with another couple of questions about whether or not he wanted room for cream and told him about filling out a survey from his receipt to win a Target gift card. He must have been so tired from the interaction that the dark, bold cup of coffee he ordered was going to be exactly what he never knew he needed!
Moments later on Saturday- still at the Target Starbucks:
I heard a racket and glanced over my shoulder to see a coat-clad, multi-generation family with a cart and Target bags settling into a 4-top table. They determined who would sit at the table and who would get the popcorn and drinks. I went dutifully back to my work but, as went the weekend, my ears absorbed yet another conversation around me.
It went something like this:
Grandma: “What about that pink Aerosmith sweatshirt?”
Teenage girl: “I can’t wear that one anymore.”
Gma: “Oh. Well, didn’t you have a blue and green Aerosmith sweatshirt too?”
At this point I’m thinking, “Wow, this family really likes Aerosmith! Neither the girl or grandma are really Aerosmith-aged fans but hey…
Teenage girl: “I still have it.”
Gma: “Good. Seems like I’ve bought so many of those shirts for you all.”
Teenage girl: “Yea. And its Aeropostle, Grandma.”
Oh!!! It made so much more sense then! Aeropostle is a clothing store for young people with brightly colored sweatshirts with the logo spread all across the front of each one. Maybe Grandma is a bonafide Aerosmith fan and just got the two mixed up!
5 minutes later, same place, same family:
Gma: “Do you ever wear that watch I gave you?”
Teenage girl: “I can’t. The time on it is always an hour ahead.”
Gma: “Well, that’s easy. You can just reset the time!”
Teenage girl: “Umph.”
My take: The girl needs to move to Arizona where they don’t celebrate this pesky daylight savings stuff and so she escapes the burden of always wearing what her grandma gives her!
Just thought I’d share some giggle worthy stories from my weekend!
