Once again inspired and instructed by the sermon at Jacob’s Well this past week, I am pondering.
In John 20, a mourning Mary meets the resurrected Jesus in the garden. She embraces him; shocked out of her sadness. In her embrace, she grasps towards everything she thought she lost in his death, and wanting the world she knew just the week before, to fall back into place.
From her embrace, Jesus steps away and says, “Don’t cling to me…”
Jesus knew all of reality had shifted and nothing could go back to what was before. Yes, Jesus was alive and with Mary once again, but nothing was the same. Instead of going back to the life she knew with Jesus before, Jesus sent her out on a new mission, with the promise of presence and the hope of a good future, towards which God is calling all creation.
I have often said the “school year” of 2011-2012 was my “golden year”. Eli and Andi were the best of sibling friends, playing together every morning after breakfast. Neither took a nap so we could do fun things at any time of day. My mother-in-law kept them on Mondays, and then they went to a wonderful preschool on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I got to work for uninterrupted blocks of time three days a week. I got pregnant with Oakley and enjoyed doctor’s visits and the journey that culminated in Oakley’s arrival.
As life has felt frantic and full lately, I wondered if perhaps I should try to recreate that year in terms of childcare and commitments. What about that year went so well, I mused, and how could I get back to that kind of a rhythm?!
First day of preschool 2011
Then I heard the sermon on Sunday.
Life does not go in reverse. I cannot cling to the past.
My life is about accepting the past, anticipating the future and engaging the present. The present is the tension between the past and the future.
There is good stuff behind me and hope always ahead.
The resurrection says nothing can be the same; God is making all things new and always has been. Resurrection is assurance of a consummation of what the unfinished and falling apart. Resurrection says God is about reconciliation, restoration, rebirth, life conquering death, healing, hope, and moving creation forward towards a good future in the energy of the Spirit and the love of Christ.
I cannot go back to the golden year. I must seek to sense the step of the Spirit in the reality of my life right now with the hope of the resurrection shoring up any sadness that the past is gone.
We are invited to resurrection hope and joy, peace and healing, in this right-now moment of all we have to do, who we are to be, and with those we are called to love.
Easter is among us.
