A Prescription for Inscription

This is a sensitive post. I’m doing this publicly on purpose: to state my own intentions and invite others in. I have thought about this for 5 days and anticipate the personal and communal accountability as a permanent life change in this fast paced world.

I am ever a sucker for multi-tasking, for “Just one more thing”, and for thinking “Sure, I can do that too“. I live my life fitting lots into little, thinking while talking, and wanting to fill most any spare moments with markers and memories. When my kids ask for an adventure, I don’t question their quest. When I’m too tired and impatient to honor what I consider an indulgence, I know I’m partly to blame for their insatiable thirst for more, all the time, at once.

During Lent, I apply limits that create space. One consistent discipline over the past 5  Lenten observances, has been for me to turn off the radio in my car. This is helpful in giving me space to be present to pray, hear, and be. What I haven’t turned off over the past 5 years of Lent is talking on my phone. Seems too unproductive to NOT talk to my mom while driving 30 minutes away to meet my college friends.With the advent of technology, the connectivity of our lives is blessedly easy. I used to count the minutes carefully and save them studiously until 9pm, or for the weekends, when Drew and I were dating long distance, and I was keeping in touch with my family in Colorado. Now, minutes are as plentiful as Minnesota mosquitoes and our cell phones are as necessary to daily function as toilet paper (yes, I did in fact make this analogy to Drew in the last month).

I’m far from the first to propose that the cost of connectivity is almost as expensive as the blessings are generous. Often my phone interrupts me in the moment, creates a distraction where I should be focused, and invites me to disengage mentally or relationally when I could be, and probably should be, checked in instead of out. Luckily for me, my phone has not cost me anything so dear as life, limb or Lexus (read “Honda Odyssey” for an increase in factuality but a decrease in alliteration), but the dangers of texting and driving, or even talking and driving, have been creeping into my consciousness for the last few months. First, my sister had a “no texting” sticker on the front of her phone that got me thinking- she had taken a pledge at a community event geared for teens. For the last couple of years, Drew and I have suggested to each other to “cut it out” and not text and drive (“Especially not on the highway at high speeds”, or  “I just do it only at a stoplight”). We try to call each other out on it when we get caught- in a most edifying and encouraging manner of course.

Newspaper stories of devastating life losses because of distracted driving always draw me in and remind me of the severity of our constantly connected indulgences. People who crash their cars while texting aren’t malicious or even negligent, they are just like me, except I’ve been lucky that my moments of distraction have been on more empty roads at different times of the day.

Even without a phone, I can be a distracted, productive, efficient driver. Driving across Kansas as a college student in a 1987 Nissan Sentra with no AC or cruise control, and a bungee cord holding the 5th gear in place, I would sometimes read a novel while I drove. I have changed out of sweaty clothes and applied make-up while driving. I often file my finger nails, and almost always pass back snacks, drinks, books, kleenex, and gum to kids in the back seats. I can rub a baby head, put in a binky, and serve dinner while driving. If I really think about it, I do these things out of neccessity (must control the snot!, quiet the crying!), but mostly out of boredom, arrogance (“Because I can…“), entitlement (“It’s my phone… I should be productive/entertained/connected), and convenience. Texting while driving often seems necessary (“I’m on my way”) and productive (especially if its just at a light and because I’m thinking of something right now that I’ll probably forget by the time I get there). However, I am becoming more and more convinced, it’s simply unnecessary.

Drew sent me a link to a documentary that I chose to watch the day my kids when to school this year (adding pain and sadness to an already emotional day). This video tells 5 grim and gripping stories of families and individuals impacted by texting and driving accidents. Two of the drivers who killed people with their cars because they were writing or reading texts while driving, appear in the video and speak of profound regret, absolute agony, over their unintentional but absolutely life-altering, split-second decision. With heavy hearts, piercing pain, and some unresolved anger, families of victims appear in the video pleading for people to make a change in their habits.

The video did it for me. I vowed, on that ordinary August Wednesday morning, that my texting and driving days were over. I want to stop. I told Drew and a few others. Just last week, I was tempted to slide, to send just a quick and simple, but seemingly important, text while driving. I thought at that point I’d open myself up to others- I’d make my vow, my promise to discipline myself and change my habits, public, inviting others in to check up on me and giving myself the accountability that: I wrote it, so it should be so.

After I had decided to write this post last Tuesday, driving around on Wednesday, I heard an NPR piece on the dangers of distracted driving. The program was helpful in reminding me we delude ourselves into thinking we can do multiple things at once– in reality, our brains cannot effectively multitask. This is especially true of driving which already involves doing multiple things at once- ie: checking a blind spot, reading signs, moving mirrors- all tasks which directly relate to the task of driving, but all which remove our eyes from the road. The statistics were staggering: deaths because of car crashes is the number 1 killer of Americans, and 90% of crashes are caused by distracted drivers.Yes, people do a lot of distracting things while driving: tend to kids, paint their nails, change the station, talk to a passenger, navigate with a GPS, but the overwhelmingly prolific distraction worth measuring and addressing, is drivers on their phones. It’s over 10% of all drivers today and up to 70% in some studies.

Because of the high number of texting drivers, states and cities have moved to pass laws to prohibit texting and driving. Currently, the law in Missouri states drivers under the age of 21 are prohibited from texting and driving. Kansas outlaws texting and driving for all drivers. Some say the laws are not the most persuasive and productive prohibitions. One NPR contributor said the most effective deterrent and most inspiring behavior changing impetus is to “shame each other into behavior changes with dirty looks to drivers on their phones etc…” “Shaming while driving” is only effective if the person to be shamed takes their eyes off their phone to receive the anti-texting stink eye of the driver in their periphery!

Perhaps if there is a law against it, we feel more motivated to hold each other accountable. Alas- I’m just writing to assert my desire to stop this habit in my own life.

I will not text and drive.

I will limit talking on my phone and driving.

I will make an effort to be focused, defensive, aware, and considerate in my driving.

I make this vehicular vow because I believe texting and driving-

• is not worth it
• can wait
• makes me an unsafe driver
• puts my kids in the back seats at unnecessary risk
• takes my attention away from the “right here, right now focus” driving deserves
• 
  

  Precious cargo: Andi

  is not my right, privilege or productive outlet.

  

  Precious cargo: Eli

To physically remove my phone from reach is the most effective way to self-enforce my desired behavior. I do a good enough time of leaving my phone out of sight and sound while I’m a home, I surely can remove it’s tempting presence in the car.

The vow is lofty, intimidating, and feels limiting at times. I’ll probably mess up and cheat. I stand to lose some convenience and connection but cannot imagine the consequences of a distracted driving crash. The benefits of being safe, focused, and alive far outweigh any cons. Want to join me?!

I’ve reached some sort of a personal record: I’ve gone to 2 amusement parks in 7 days in 2 different states.

Last Monday, Labor Day, I couldn’t write a blog because I was at Lakeside Amusement Park in Denver Colorado. We attended as a family with my parents and then drove the rest of the day 3:30pm-1am back to KC. No time to type! Just yesterday, I went to Worlds of Fun here in Kansas City, MO with my good friend Lauren for her Bachelorette party. Both occasions provided fun, excitement, new adventures, and a connection to good memories.

At Lakeside, we were celebrating what has become a tradition in our family- going to Colorado over Labor Day, and going to Lakeside during the holiday weekend. Labor Day weekend only, they have $.10 ride tickets (usually $.50) on top of a $2.50 admission gate fee, per person. It’s a heck of a deal and this year, for the 8 of us to enjoy rides for 3 hours, it cost a grand total of $24. But we don’t really go for the bargain; we go for the blissful simplicity of the thrills.

Eli and Andi on Lakeside Frog Hopper in 2011

For 108 years, Lakeside has been open and inviting to families. The carousel is one of few absolute originals still in operation but it’s absolutely a functioning original antique. There was tacky duct tape on one golden post but mostly, the paint and the gears, are in fine operating fashion. The carousel was Oakley’s only ride but he loved it.

Oakley’s first ride!

The operator, tenaciously avoiding 108 year old pigeons with a propensity to poop on him, didn’t even charge Oaks a $.10 ticket.

There are few height restrictions at Lakeside and most rides that do require patrons to stand tall, offer shorter adventurers the option of riding with a taller companion. Most epic is the Cyclone Coaster- a white, wooden roller coaster whose just-off-the-highway presence welcomes all Westbound I-70 travelers to the foothills. Anyone can ride the Cyclone as long as you’re with someone at least 48 inches tall. It’s fast and shaky and most fun from the front. It’s controlled by hand operated levers in the hands of committed and playful operators.

Eli’s first ride on the Cyclone 2011

You

Andi ready to ride the Cyclone

start in a long dark tunnel, crank up the highest ascent, speed and shake down the

Eli and Andi on the kiddie coaster this year

Andi on the kiddie coaster in ’11

hill, smash into your seat partner around every curve, swing out over the lake on turn 6, and hope the line is short enough to do it again when you pull back into the coaster corral. Eli’s first ride was 2 years ago in 2011 when he rode with Drew. This year it was Andi’s turn for history and she never looked back. She loved it from the very front first and rode with Grandpa the second time.

They both had a hard time choosing between the Cyclone and the Loop-O for their favorite ride. The Loop-O put Andi and Eli into an oval cage with an adult. The seat belt/lap bar combo came down hard across the thighs and was the only think holding anyone in when the cages swung around on their vertical axis and stopped in the agonizing upside down position after every so many swings. Their bravery was commendable and their joy contagious. Something had to motivate us to flip again right?!

World’s of Fun takes one on a newer, larger scaled trip “around the world” with thematically named classic rides (“Autobahn”= bumper cars, “Finnish Fling”= spinning, floor-dropping cylinder which doubles as Eli’s favorite ride, the “Prowler”- a new wooden roller coaster in the African jungle, and the “Viking Voyager”= your classic log ride, which earlier this summer ate our good friend Beckett’s glasses! That Scandinavian, rushing green water can be costly).

The bride ready to ride

With commercialism and a higher price, also come awesome thrills- the high, fast, and smooth Mamba, the spinning and coasting Spinning Dragons, and a giro-scoping side and upside down spinning Zulu to name a few. My inlaws generously bought  season passes for Eli and Andi, and have even more generously taken them for days and nights of fun in heat and chilly air, all summer. My kids are brave and adventurous, unafraid of most any speed or orientation, and grateful for the chance to sit next to someone who loves them during the ride.

We had fun celebrating Lauren and her upcoming nuptials in the 97 degree heat yesterday. I mean a lot of fun. The lines were short or non-existent (guess most people took that heat advisory seriously!) and we walked the whole park.

As I watched the Zulu spin before I rode it myself, I thought, “What is all this?” We willingly put ourselves into small, germy (think of all the sweat on those seats yesterday!) spaces and endure spins, loops, careening hills, and jerking corners. We choose fear and momentary discomfort. We ascend to higher than sane heights, speed at head blistering paces, and come out feeling more alive, and very entertained.

Watching the spins of the Zulu made me think we might be a little crazy, us first-world humans. But we might also be tapping into a tangible reality, a physical representation of what it is to live, parent, age, learn, and work.

You face forward on the Zulu and spin clockwise, at first. Then, the axis rotates and you face forward but spin on an angle. Finally, the axis is completely upended and, without you having shifted your body in its caged space, your whole self (and cage) are rotating upside down. Which way is clockwise if you’re upside down? The ride lasts less than 2 minutes in repeated cycles- just different angles of the axis. I don’t know what you’re picturing and claim it’s a hard ride to explain. So is life.

Everyone understands the metaphor of life as a roller coaster, with its ups and downs. What struck me yesterday is life’s changing angles. Our personal orientation might stay centered, forward, and within the bounds of a cage with a seat and ample foot room. But life turns us steadily upside down. There’s a thrill and a joy and some entertainment to it. And there’s the agony of it’s repetition when the cycle we’re stuck in is pain, disorientation, disappointment, change, or destruction of what we’d known before.

My friend Patti just said, “No one really ever says it, but when you become a parent, you begin a life of change. After your children are born, change starts coming and does not stop. You will endure and face change for the rest of your life as a parent.”

She’s right and her saying it made me feel better. So did riding the Zulu. I chose to climb in the cage, buckle up, look forward, follow directions of someone who knew the machine, how it was built, and how I fit within the whole. Then I let the spins, turns, and inversions take me around and around. Sometimes I screamed the whole rotation. The next time I’d stare out to try and see our friends on the ground. On yet another rotation, I focused only on my feet- what was inside the cage with me as we fell.

Life is full, dizzying, fast-paced, and out of my control. And yet, I love my life. I’m grateful. I like feeling upside down from time to time and I like riding in a cage with my self and my family through the twists and turns- being free to move about but held together by the One who crafted the carnival and around Whom every axis spins.

Post Vacation play day

We traveled to Colorado for the MLK holiday this past weekend with Laura and James. Epic trips in our mini-van continue to pile up and the blessings of being with our sister Natalie and her husband John as well as my parents and grandparents there are always a gift. Andi cried on the car ride back, wailing, “I don’t want to leave Colorado. I want to stay there.” I know and feel her pain- our time in Colorado is always so rich, it’s hard to leave despite the great life we live in MO!

I had intended to unpack and clean up today. Instead, Eli’s fever of two days ago hung on so we got to keep our big brother home today. This meant Eli and Andi could play together which I was not going to interrupt! However, it also meant I didn’t put things away and couldn’t really take a step through our family room. So glad no one is stopping by today!

Back to Colorado- James and Drew were skiing two days at Copper Mountain which left Laura and I with a relaxing weekend. Part of our relaxation schedule was to visit and work out in a Colorado Crossfit gym. We were excited and a little nervous to be visitors and first timers at a gym so far from home. We went proudly donned in Crossfit Northland gear and introduced ourselves as box members in Missouri, having done Crossfit for about a year. On this “open to visitors” Saturday class, this gained us a pretty “elite athlete” status among the group. We were not going to receive a lot of the coach’s attention.

Thank goodness! I didn’t need any witnesses to what occurred 2 minutes before the workout began. Laura and I grabbed a box for the box jump portion of the WOD. It was a solid rectangle of wood constructed so that you could flip the box over and stand it up on different sides to make the height at which you jumped higher or lower. We were planning on jumping up about 20 inches but turned it to the high side (probably 28-30 inches) to see just how high, high was! It looked intimidating but Laura jumped right up. She’s got hops! I approached the box and got scared twice. Laura encouraged me just to go for it so I took a huge arm swing and began to jump. BUUUUUTTTT… my huge momentum arm swing brought my hand slamming against the edge of the box before my legs and feet could attempt their trip to the box top. The pain in my left fingers was immediately intense. I shook it out and rubbed my left ring finger knuckle but could feel the pain was pretty strong.

Eventually, all in 2 minutes, I would get faint, hot, nauseous and have to leave the workout right as the clock and coach said “Go” to find a chair for some deep breaths. I narrowly avoided passing out! Thankfully, Laura suggested I take off my wedding ring right away. I pulled myself together enough to finish the workout but was left with a very bruised and pained left ring finger. Here’s to hoping my ring ever fits again!!!

Swollen Ring Finger- 3 days post injury

Box jump injuries are pretty common in Crossfit; the irony here lies in the fact that 90% of box jump injuries affect an athletes SHINS banging against the box, not their knuckles!

So it goes with me in life I guess.

Once while making a FROZEN mocha torte dessert for Laura’s birthday, I burned my fingertips touching a hot stove burner. An ice cream dessert burn injury! (I was making homemade hot fudge for the top layer of the desert which is why the stove was hot to my nonsensical touch!)

Going back a little further, I once intended to be faithfully taking birth control pills and discovered instead that I was 7 weeks pregnant. Elijah was born despite our prevention efforts- a life-forming kind of irony!

Going back even further, I once intended to get my haircut in Kansas City and ended up on an airplane to Colorado where I got engaged to Drew instead. It was there in the soft September snow that Drew gave me the ring that I hope will fit again soon!

I guess some of the great things and some of the times I’m reminded to slow down and be a bit more careful have been built into my life as I was intending one thing but got a whole other thing handed to me instead!

Drew's amazing proposal, September 13, 2003

Last week as I swept the floor I got a gift. (Side Note: Sweeping is my favorite household chore for the sweet satisfaction of the ratio of effort to result. Our kitchen is small and the tile forgiving, so usually I can work for 5 minutes and have a large and satisfying pile of debris. The result is a clean floor that makes me feel more at peace with the world in general and more in control of the chaos around the house. Ahhhhh!)

However, last week, the sweeping gift was not the satisfaction of clearing debris and restoring peace, it was a realization, an “A-ha”, and perhaps even a word from the Spirit about life. I thought/heard: “Life is long.  You will be somewhere else someday, but here, right now, is okay”.

I took a deep breath. There seems to be so much pushing us forward, ahead, into the future right now, that an affirmation of being content in the moment, to pause in the present, to be okay with what “IS” now, was a gift.

We are 23 weeks pregnant with child number 3. This pushes us forward in a number of ways. Probably most immediate is that we will have another person to put into our small house. The small baby person is not going to take up nearly as much space as the baby’s corresponding crap- er, I mean, layette- the crib, pack-n-play, swing, bouncy seat, diaper pail, clothes, car seat, etc… etc… all come with the very small new person. I can picture space for the baby in our house, arms, and hearts…I have no idea where all the baby stuff will reside.

Add to the new baby, the fact that Eli will start kindergarten. I imagine we need space for the daily kindergarten paper/project accumulation right? A different, bigger, house would be nice. On most days, we feel like it wouldn’t just be nice, it’s actually downright necessary for our family sanity.

However, while sweeping, I realized, “We will live somewhere else someday. It’s okay to stay here for now.” Who knows when someday will be and where that other house is, for now, contentedness has settled in my head and heart and for that I’m grateful. I’m open to open doors for new houses or a knock on the door of this house from someone off the street who would love to buy it, but until it’s clear there is a place to go, we will stay and be okay.

I think living more in the now also means being okay that the answer to other questions is “Not Yet”.

“Is Elijah reading?” …. “Not yet.”            -He’s becoming more and more interested in words. He is actually reading simple word books and signs at the store, but I feel no need to push him, and instead am enjoying watching his world open up as he is interested in figuring it out himself!

“Do you know if you’re having a boy or a girl?”… “Not Yet.”        -We are waiting to discover the gender of our baby until the moment he/she is born. We knew with Eli and Andi that they were a boy and girl at 20 weeks but have decided to be surprised this time. We feel comfortable with the mystery and exceedingly excited for either a daughter or son in early October!

“Do you think you’ll leave the Young Life staff Lindsey?”…”Not Yet.”     -I feel very grateful to have a job that uses my gifts of teaching, my passion for leading others, my desire to be in personal relationships with people, that gives me an outlet and the challenge of applying my Master’s of Divinity, and offers me the flexibility to work and be a mom. I love that I get to travel to YL camps and conferences to speak, to learn, and to connect. Perhaps there will be another job for me in or out of YL but right now, I’m profoundly blessed to do what I do.

“Will we have another child after this one?”…”Don’t know Yet.”        -I can’t say for sure that we feel finished having children. I’m not ready to tie my tubes, though it would be so convenient with my insides all exposed during this c-section. We are open to stopping or adding children and can’t land on the final number today. I guess we’ll forgo the convenient contraceptive opportunity and continue our ever surprising, adventurous and absolutely mind-blowing wonderful adventure of family.

Right now, the Kansas City summer has been blissfully mild- temps in the 80’s, low humidity, cool nights and mornings. I don’t know when it will turn to stifling hot sticky-ness, but it’s not like that yet and I’m grateful.

There is so much right now, I’ll stay here, and move to what’s next when it’s time.

We ended up back at the doctor last Friday when Andi demonstrated extreme out of sorts symptoms. The indicators were obvious: she who takes no naps, took a 4 hour nap, she who runs and flips, sat out the playground time, she who hungers and thirsts for lunch, ate nothing, and she who fusses and whines commonly, was fussing and whining with uncommon frequency and volume. It was Friday afternoon at 4:55pm. The CVS Minute Clinic beckoned us.

The doctor saw a severely infected right ear. Unfortunately, this meant Andi has been battling ear infection problems for almost a month straight. The amoxicillin they gave her on February 15th for a double ear infection had not kicked the infection out of her little head. Friday-Afternoon-Dr.-Guy and I agreed she needed a different set of meds. Regrettably, I had to give her more drugs, but this was only the second, and hopefully would be, the last time of this season. He explained the children’s dosage of a “z-pack” and I took the script to the pharmacy counter.

The pharmacy tech typed dutifully and after a couple keyboard clicks said to me, “The prescription is going to $79, is that okay?” We do not a co-pay with our new insurance and the only deductible we have to meet is $5000. We are responsible for the whole price of these small prescriptions. No, no, this was not really “Okay”.

I asked the techs to please call back to the doctor and see if there was a more affordable option. I told them I didn’t think amoxicillin would help but hoped there would be something in-between $10 and $79 that would help Andi. There were two families in line behind me. Andi was tugging at my leg asking to read the library book we had started in the doctor’s office. I was uncomfortable asking knowledgeable medical employees to change their minds for my financial benefit. However, I know there’s a profitable business in pharmaceutical sales and I am not interested in aiding any manipulative practices. The two pharmacists talked together, and with the doctor on the phone, for almost 5 uncomfortable minutes. Finally, they hung up the phone and re-presented my options.

They had discovered that if they upped the strength of the medicine and then slightly raised the dosage amount, I’d be buying one bottle of the medicine instead of two. “How does $39 sound?” they asked. “Much better, thank you so much,” I responded. Andi, all the more anxious for the book tugged harder at my leg. I made my move to walk away, very grateful that I had  said something to challenge their first offer.

Andi and I barely made it through the library book before they called us to pick up the medicine. The friendly pharmacist at this point said, “Actually, we got it down to $13.50 because we….” At that point, my memory fails me and I regret not being able to give more medical detail. However, in the moment, I was scrambling to scan my card before anything changed!

$79 turned into $13.50. Despite my discomfort with asking for something different than what a doctor prescribed, I swallowed my fear to advocate for my family. As a mostly “self-pay” patient these days, this encounter showed me I am in charge of my health and the care I receive. I have a say and can humbly, respectfully, and kindly challenge the automatic methods of the medical machine. Most importantly, Andi is feeling much better, all for $13.50.

A few items have sneakily taken up residence in our home lately. I’ve been stopped in my tracks as I come upon them. “What are you doing here?” I ponder, and then realize they didn’t grow legs and walk into the house- its not them, it’s me.

The surprising intruders:
1.  Salmon (a mildly thick filet- fresh, with the skin still on one side)                                                                                                                                    2. Dog leashes (yes, plural)

These seem a bit out of place because we do not own a dog and because while we eat fish, we don’t order or choose salmon as our fish of choice. I have never cooked salmon at home and despite it’s tremendous and timely popularity with most women, I wasn’t motivated by a Pinterest baked salmon post this week. I was clueless on what to do with it, and how to do it well, but up and bought it anyways after seeing a great deal on organic salmon in the grocery ad.

I went to the store Thursday, with salmon on my otherwise normal list and was still unsure of whether or not I’d make the actual purchase. As I tiptoed past the seafood counter, completely foreign territory for me, I got caught by the store’s fish guy. He was eager to help guide and gloss me through my first salmon purchase. I asked a lot of questions. He asked me to smell it (it was supposed to smell like fresh watermelon) and reminded me of the power of freshness at such a good price. With low expenses in our weekend plans (no plans either Friday or Saturday night) I thought , “What the heck, we will feast on this pink beast at home as a family.” And last night, we did! Drew and I loved it and the kids ate all of theirs without a single gag. I fact, Eli said, “Yum!” after bite 3. They chose BBQ sauce as their dipping sauce but hey- they ate salmon!

I think we will be dog owners some day- Andi and I dream of it at least! Right now, I’m highly involved with 2 dogs, neither of which live in our house. I am a daily dog caretaker. I turn left and head 3 half- houses away to Ellie’s around 1pm  every afternoon. Ellie is a black and white sheepdog- she’s well trained and deliberate. I unlock the kennel and get out of her way. Up the stairs and she’s out the door to pee. She runs right back down to her kennel, I offer a head rub and a treat, and I’m out of there.
From Ellie’s expedited routine I head back across the cul-de-sac to the other half of my house. My duplex neighbor just got a Lab-mix puppy for Christmas. Cooper is all puppy- playful, eager to please, skinny, spastic, and highly distracted. Each day, it takes him til the last minute to remember this is indeed his chance to empty that full puppy bladder! With C0oper- the leashes at my own front door come into play. His owner prefers the expand-o-leashs but I struggle with controlling his energy and not getting tripped up with those models. I borrowed a strict leash from my in-laws that I keep at my house and bring over to walk cooper. He pulls like crazy however, and after a particularly adventurous day when I decided to walk Cooper and my kids round the block- picture Andi almost clothes-lined by his crisscrossing leash antics and Eli way up ahead- staying the heck out of Spaz’s way and riding his scooter in peace- I decided I wanted to try a gentle leader to help Cooper and I be able to cooperate and achieve our mutual goals. So, I borrowed another leash and leader. Now there’s a pile of dog leashes by the front door of my dog-free house.

ALL if this to say, I’m surprised by myself. Part of having salmon and leashes means I’m simply living when and where I am. I’m evolving and growing up as a cook (and I’m bored with baking the same ole stuff) and I’m willing to chat with seafood managers and risk $12 to possibly provide a healthy, flavorful and different meal to my family. I’m invested in my neighborhood and pleased to get paid for a service that serves my neighbors that I can pretty easily provide. New routines are  not rocket science I know. Invitations and opportunities to risk in something new will always enter our lives. This week however, something made me stop and look around. A practice of paying attention is a discipline I pursue.

Perhaps this is the genesis of us becoming salmon eaters. Maybe these leashes are a sign that I’m trying too hard to change someone else’s dog. But it could be a sign that right now I get to take daily walks with a puppy who appreciates our time together outside. We both release pent up energy and breathe fresh air. The leashes remind me I’m sharing life outside the walls of my house- making deeper connections with neighbors. The salmon pushed me to talk to seafood guys, they came out and around the counter to help me. I left the grocery store having been really paid attention to, really helped. Small steps to slow down and grow a little bit. And really, I can’t be that overly invested right?- it’s not like there’s a copy of Cesar Milan’s  book on our coffee table.

I sat in on a semester of staff meetings with the excellent staff of Restore Community Church (restorecc.com) in the Spring of 2010. The staff was energetic, genuine, and full of personality. They valued connection, stimulating each others intellect and passion for ministry, and making work fun whenever possible. Each time I was there, the group put themselves through the process of “parking” distractions and a connection exercise before diving into the more stereotypical meeting type work.

I liked it so much, I’ll explain it here and hope it’s useful.

The Parking Lot: The Parking Lot was a rectangular area delineated on the white board and aptly entitled, “Parking Lot”. People would go around the room and share what they needed to “park” that day. The idea was everyone would be bringing in something from their life outside the gathering. To be most present in the moment, to give oneself most fully to the people and ideas in the room, it was necessary to intentionally set aside the most pressing outside pressure. People would park childcare issues, regrets, worries, excitement for something in the future, an obsession with details over something, and a myriad of other things. I was sitting there as an assignment for my seminary senior capstone class so I mostly parked, “school!”

I think parking some things in order to more fully focus on something else is a process I’d like to submit to in marital discourse with Drew, financial conversations of any kind, and my monthly meetings with YL staff.

Recommendations:

My favorite, in Restore’s repertoire of fun ways to connect and share with each other, was the week they shared “Recommendations”. Everyone simply shared something they would recommend to the group. Recommendations were helpful in sharing good ideas and were also insightful to what each person was into at that time.

No one asked, but right now I recommend:

-CrossFit (see crossfitnorthland.com)

-Kale (especially in smoothies). Benefits of Kale include: high amounts of fiber and calcium, and decent amounts of vitamins A, C, B6, and potassium. Kale fights for health against: heart disease, certain cancers, dementia, osteoporosis, and cataracts. Enough said!

-Chocolate chips by the handful as a dessert. (Just balancing out the Kale tirade above)

-Going outside everyday

-Working next to a window

-Trying new recipes

-Giving your kids a blessing when you leave them at school, a friend’s house, when they go to bed…

-Reading books yourself and to kids

-Letting your “Yes be Yes” and your “No be No”- it’s important to honor your word.

-Reading The Hunger Games trilogy

-Taking a whole day off from a computer

-Vacations

-Grapefruit- tis the season which is close to ending

Obviously there’s more but those are my recommendations for today. What are yours?

July 17th, 2004

December 31st, 2005

August 2nd, 2009

July 24th, 2010

Today

Honeymoon in Jamaica 2004Mexico family trip Christmas 2005San Diego Sibling Trip 2009The crowd of friends and fun at Eli's 4th birthday party at Castaway