A Prescription for Inscription

We have lived life to the fullest in an abundance of autumn adventures. It’s been unbelievably exhilarating and exhausting as well.

The really good kind of tired…

Accomplishment and exhaustion can go hand in hand. After you’ve run a marathon, hiked a mountain, or had a baby, you feel spent in each and every muscle, all emotions, and most mental capacities. It’s a very satisfying sleepiness. When you’ve stayed awake all night to write a paper, finish a project, or accomplish a task that ends up completed before morning, turning it in and walking away feels so good you can make it through the few hours you have to live before a nap.

Waking up on Monday morning, November 2nd, at 4:45am, meant I had slept for 3.5 tossing and turning hours. I was up to coach the early class at the gym and awoke very tired but very exhilerated. The Royals had won the World Series at 11:30pm the night before. I had sweated, waited, began to lose hope, then jumped, cheered, ran, hugged, screamed and celebrated with high fives, hugs, and spraying champagne. Most all of my favorite Missouri people were gathered in one room and we had soaked it in past midnight. Drew and I went to bed at 1:30am with smiles, and still a bit of disbelief, on our faces. I was tired on Monday morning. A very satisfied kind of sleepy.

For the 2015 Postseason, Sunday night’s capstone was a most perfect ending to what became an unbelievable, unprecedented, and very, very fun to watch, October.

Unbelievable and unprecedented because:

1. Royals Post season record:   11-5 That’s a lot of wins and not very many losses- but shows they didn’t win by sweeping and knocking other teams out. They fought and clamored for almost every single win!
   
2. Runs scored after the 7th inning: Royals: 40, Other Teams: No more than 5
3. Runs scored after the 6th inning: Royals: 51, Other Teams: No more than 11 combined across all games.
4. *The Royals trailed by at least two runs and came back to win in seven of the 11 games! (in six games, they trailed into the 6th inning!)
5. *In the World Series itself, the Royals were down in ALL FIVE games. They went on to win in three games in which they trailed in the eighth inning or later.                                                             *World Series Record
   

   We met the Moose Man at Hyvee!

Call to the Banana pen?

People said and wrote about “…keeping the line moving one hit at a time”, “…never saying ‘Quit'”, “…never believing it was over or out of reach”, players that comprised a power line-up, a manager that just let them play, and a GM who crafted a team six years ago with defense, charisma, speed on the bases, and solid pitching in mind, and who made moves along the way to make it actually happen.

The city thanked the team for bringing baseball’s biggest victory back here after 30 years, for bringing a city together in rallying cheers, and giving us a month- long party.

The team thanked the city for unwavering support, attendance, spirit, fervor, and interest.

Gratitude did indeed appear to be the atmosphere at the celebration parade on Tuesday. With streets backed up and packed in, with roofs and trees dangling people from edges, a whole city wore blue and came to one small part of the city to cheer on a team that couldn’t help but humbly take in the crowd and wave back. We walked from North Kansas City for 1.9 miles to be four people deep with great views of the players, coaches, and families on their trucks.

Tuesday November 3rd was a holiday in Kansas City and should continue to be until we win again. It was the best sort of snow day there could ever be. A “snow day” with sunshine and closed offices and cancelled appointments and everyone from child to elderly executive, with obvious martyrs (think essential medical personnel and waiters and bartenders who worked for everyone’s party day!) and naysayers (people who don’t care about sports at all- even transcendent sport moments, I guess) in-between, together in one crowded place, with one common celebration and a kind and easy-going spirit. The mass of blue-clad humanity swarmed the Station and showed the world how many people have come to care in KC.

 As a small piece of the blue mass, our personal postseason included:

• Morning newspaper pour-over sessions. Reading high lights and predecitions, soul stories and moving recaps. Appreciating the pictures and the personalities as a whole family. 
• Late nights out and about. With no cable TV to supply the channels for the Division or Championship Series, we packed up our family to watch games at Chris and Melissa’s, a Ruby Tuesday restaurant, our new neighbor’s the Ponds, Jim and Jan Bruce’s house, Gayle and Steve Osborne’s house, bits of it at Young Life watch parties at Tate Summa’s house, and Mike and Carol Graves’ house. Our kids were late night troopers who watched, played, or read while the comebacks roared through living rooms and basements.
• Radio game calls– the ALCS Game 2 against the Blue Jays was a late innings comeback that we listened to at home on our radio on a Saturday afternoon. Nothing beat the ALDS Game 4 however against the Astros where I listened with Oaks in the basement here at home.
• Special food and drinks:  World Series Game 1 salmon at home, ALCS Game 6 fried green tomatoes and guac at the Graves, a Crown Royal shot before World Series Game 4 for “Taking the Crown” good luck, Minsky’s “fancy” pizza at James and Laura’s for WS Game 2, the Blue Walk off at Chappels on parade day, and much more. Eli, Andi and Oaks talked us into more sugar and pop drinking than we usually allow because, “Hey, it is the Woooorld Serieees!”
• Their FIRST post season game. Andi and Eli got in on the gift of attending ALCS Game 1 at Kauffman where we had seats in right field from which we saw the 5-0 victory over those power-hitting Blue Jays. Quotable game moments:  “Andi, watch this pitch. This is a big pitch.”- Drew’s very true but very un-seven-year-old girl appropriate comment in the 8th inning of a long baseball day.  And, “Throw him a chair!”– the yelling adage from exuberant and repetitive fan in the section next to us and right on top of James and Laura. He was montonous but accurate- the Royals pitching “sat down” many a Blue Jay.
• Cumulative efforts. What I loved and will remember is how much every player on the team contributed in some way game after game. I appreciate the very literal “team” approach they took to wrestling their way to a win or clawing the victory away from the other team. They attacked as a group and won with and because of each other. Most of our watch parties came together with a team effort as well!
• THE BEST HALLOWEEN EVER. October 31st was a Saturday. Eli and Andi played their last soccer game on their coed, 2nd and 3rd grade, YMCA soccer team. Quinton and Erica game from St. Louis and got to see the two games. Then we worked as a family to get ready for our 6th annual Halloween party. People came at 5:00pm in costume and bearing side dishes and goodies. They indulged me my games for which even the weather cooperated. As extended family and friends came through for pictures and greetings and good, good food our party total topped 44 people and two dogs. Twenty or so stayed for the duration of World Series Game 4 which started at 7pm (the first hour of which we did our trick-or-treating with Oaks absolutely appreciating every second of it audibly), and was displayed on two TVs in our house. Yes, we borrowed a TV for the big game. Half the people watched in the family room (six people on my new sectional- a dream realized!) and half in the kitchen (including me with a seat way too close to the Candy Corn mix!). We all got to watch the Royals come back to win in the 8th. Seriously a wild adventure and a wonderful way to watch a win- with a house-full of great people and kids full of candy. And finally, a daylight savings gift that gave us an hour back that night we’d very much need for the next game. 
• Big Life Moments: Oakley turned 3 on October 11th- ALDS game 3 (a loss!) and we switched him to a big-boy bed on October 27th. He grew up as the Royal’s clinched titles. I held my two big fall  Young Life retreats around ALCS games 5 and 6. Heavy hearted, I went to a funeral in Springfield for my staff friend who lost her 29 year old son to an ocean accident on the day of World Series Game 1.

Hope comes up from creeping defeat. A celebration for some is a season ending sadness for others. Joy can stand right next to fear and gloom. A night of striking out can end in a single that turns the tone of the game. The Royals journey to the World Series and come from behind winning of that series, gave us a schedule altering, blood pressure raising, community building, party excusing, memory-making fall.

Thank you Royals for doing your job with a passion for excellence, attention to hard work, and concern for others. Thank you for playing when your own life was falling apart and your body was beat up. We appreciate the show, the adventure, and the victory.

Reign well, Crowned Champions. 

Appendix 1:

Below are photos of where we were and the differing levels of tired our kids were when the Royals actually WON THE WORLD SERIES!

Appendix 2:   Little somethin-somethin extra I found…Here are great videos of the final World Series Game- Game 5 on Sunday November 1st. Courteous of MLB.com.

http://m.mlb.com/video/v527669683/must-c-comeback-royals-rally-to-tie-game-in-9th/?game_pk=446277&mode=video&partnerId=LR_highlight  and       http://m.mlb.com/video/v527627783/ws2015-gm5-royals-take-lead-with-five-runs-in-12th/?game_pk=446277&mode=video&partnerId=LR_highlights

Eli in one of many assigned lucky seats he had to fill to bring on a W!

Tension climbs in late innings at the Osborne house in WS Game 5

June takes in the World Series win…

Our 9th inning hoots and hollers woke Andi up for the 10th, 11th, and 12th innings for Game 5!

Oaks couldn’t get his eyes open to take in the Win.

I’m heading out of town for four days of leading and hosting retreats for my Young Life job.

These are annual retreats and often the highlights of my year as a trainer. I get to spend quality and “quantity” time with my folks, learn from the conversations and other speakers, and I really do enjoy all the parts of hosting- planning meals, games, and lots of teaching.

This year, they just happen to be right on top of each other: Thursday-Friday and then Saturday-Sunday.

Alas, my head, stress capacity, “desk”, and refrigerator are full! 

Here’s a bit of what I’ll say, which is teaching me all over as I prepare to teach: 

1. We cannot replicate what we do not live ourselves.
2. Limits are life giving not restrictive.
3. We are supposed to break through limits that limit us:   FEAR (“What if I fail?”)  and   FLAWS (“I’ve never been good at that so I won’t try now.” or “I’m always clumsy so they shouldn’t ask me.”)
4. Teenagers are still under construction and need protection, advocacy, wisdom, friendship, love and prayers.
5. Our identity is not our circumstances, it is knowing that we are image-bearing beloved children of God who are called to work alongside Jesus in Kingdom purposes with Spirit power.

Here’s to hoping the Royals wrap it up today before my retreats!

Oh boy, what a quiet almost month here at lindseyosborne.com. I took on an extra job in June and laid down my “pen”.

The job was to serve as a temporary camp administrator for Park Hill/Park Hill South Young Life. My goal: to get 25 high school kids and 5 adult volunteer leaders to Castaway for a week of camp, June 28-July 4th.

Details, phone calls, data entry, invitations extended, decisions made, and bags packed…all came together for the culmination of expectations and experience when they arrived last week. I came to Castaway with my kids three days before to start my three week assignment serving as a Head Leader.

(Our own family journey to get here involved a freak van breakdown and unfortunate 2 year old-ism by Oaks that landed my phone in a pool. Alas, we came, traveling safely, meeting our nanny Dana, and now live in full swing with the other assigned team families!)

Along with the Park Hill kids last week, St. Joseph and Savannah, MO high school were here with kids and leaders. My Young Life journey is 13 years long now and it started in Savannah. When I sat in the club room and heard kids stand up to share the impact of their week on their relationship with Jesus, or acceptance of God’s love, I felt like the luckiest person in the room. I was getting to see what God is doing and who God is wooing in places that mean so much to me. So many students were genuinely transformed to hear they are loved and longed for, held and called forward, healed and set free.

They all went home on the 4th of July and we got to have a party on the beach as a staff. Eli sat in the lifeguard chair with Connor to watch the fireworks, Andi and I went paddle boarding (Oaks sat at my feet) and got stuck in the seaweed- we overcame as the sunset. The weather has been beautiful and the love of a community in a place of beauty has indeed set us free to lived loved.

Eli, Andi, and Oaks are comfortable here and love every nook and cranny. Because they are loved, they are brave and bold. They push themselves to try new things and are friendly to all. Everyone loves Oaks so much he is never left alone. He dances to every song, asks people what their name is and responds by saying he is Oakley and he is 2 and 1/2.  He’s handling the love and attention well but needs a social break sometimes!

 Dana our nanny is wonderfully patient and deeply invested in my kids and the whole Castaway experience. She is a gift!

Who knew?

It was five years ago that Drew and I stepped into an office at Friends University to see a counselor. We went for six months; being seen as a couple one week and then as individuals for the next two weeks. There wasn’t anything actually wrong but life was full and there were cracks. Being five years married, we were seeing 30 year marriages break apart. Plus we knew there were some things in our young marriage we wanted to pay attention to, learn to label, lean into, and heal. Plus, I was overwhelmed as student, YL staff person, and potty-training mom. Drew came along for the ride at first personally, and then ended up changing careers by the time all her questions were asked and explored!

Our therapist gave little information but tons of insight. She asked us the questions we couldn’t come up with to ask each other. She revealed layers and gave language to emotions.

Reading Wild a few weeks ago, I read the part where Cheryl sat with therapist. Their interaction typifies the productiveness of personal therapy.

Cheryl: I’m like a guy sexually.

Therapist: What are guys like?

Cheryl: You know, detached.

Therapist: So who detached from you?

Cheryl: Oh… is this where I’m supposed to talk about my dad?

Boom. He took her from a superficial and vague statement, to a deep and poignant, truth searing reveal of deeper issues.

So it was with us in 2010, we learned how to reveal what was under the surface and gained the tools to work differently next time.

May is mental health month.  Simply because my sister works in mental health and cares about my kids growing up healthy, I ended up with a packet of excellent resources on mental health for kids/teens.

(May is also super-storm month in Missouri- as I type, the wind and rain whirl outside the window once again. Will my garden survive?! I digress…)

Back to mental health.

A few of the nuggets, written especially for teens but helpful to all of us:

1. Have Self-Respect

• Self-respect says: I am aware of my strengths and weaknesses, I accept myself as I am right now with imperfections, I’m entitled to be treated with respect by myself and others just because I’m a human being.

2. Build a Gratitude Habit

• Feeling grateful on a regular basis can have a big effect on our lives- it creates loving bonds, increases good moods, helps brain function.  
• Gratitude open us up to see more possibilities and take in more information
• Gratitude can boost our ability to develop skills, learn, and make good decisions
• People who feel gratitude more often, are stressed and depressed less often.
• Gratitude can lead to positive actions: when we stop to feel grateful, we often extend kindness to someone else.

3. Explore and Pursue Positive Emotions

• The packet includes a worksheet for thinking of ways and times you might feel 10 positive emotions. 
• Reflect and then practice feeling: JOYFUL, GRATEFUL, PEACEFUL, INTERESTED, HOPEFUL, PROUD, AMUSED, INSPIRED, AMAZED, LOVING

4. Find Healthy Ways to Deal with Less than Positive Emotions/COPE

• Feeling sad? Go to a mirror. Make silly noises and faces.
  
• Feeling angry? Stomp your feet or jump in puddles, rip up paper, scream into a pillow, hit and kick a punching bag, shake your whole body and yell.
• Feeling depressed? Go outside. Stop and smell the roses…or other flowers. Studies show that being in nature is a mood booster.
• Stay proactive about being positive!

1. On a daily basis, tell yourself that positive things will happen that day and in the future.
2. Creative expression is really important and can convey how you are feeling: write a poem or journal entry, draw, paint, scribble, play an instrument, sing, dance.
3. Hold, cuddle and hug your family daily.

*most resources here can be found on teenshealth.org and indigodaya.com. Here is the coping skills worksheet.

Drew and I learned about empathy, emotions, and entering in. We learned how to walk the rotation of the same fight we continually come back to with softer steps.

We hope our kids can grow up feeling secure in their identity in Christ, carry self-respect, and be a force for good and hope in their small little worlds now, and the great big world as they grow.

With 11 more days,Happy Mental Health Month. How might you celebrate?

–

Our awesome spring bush in beautiful bloom!

Spring brings new in all sorts of ways. For me right now, some things have been wrapped up, tied off, concluded with gusto. Other things, previously held together nicely, have begun to fall apart, slowly, bit by bit, as a minor annoyance.

First, what’s falling apart:

• Our library honor roll. We have missing books. My normal routine is to just renew a book coming due that elludes us at home. I’ve maxed out the returns on a Geronimo Stilton book that has been missing since February. It’s still missing. In a completely new fashion, I got an email last week that we returned one of our personal books to the library. In the heap of books the kids collected and stuffed into a bag that I then drove to the library and tossed into the return bin, we all missed that one of our own books was in the group! Bless the library for catching our mistake.

• I suppose the other unraveling is out of my control. It’s the Royals. First they fought and then they started losing! Knowing the perfect 7-0 start to the season wouldn’t last forever, I was still unsettled by the brawls, players knocked out with injuries or ejections and suspensions, and a lack of runs scored at our fun family outing to the K  on April 22nd (they scored ZERO! runs), and questions to their team morality.

The list affirms I do not have real problems in my life. These small inconveniences remind me once again that it’s not worth getting upset about things that will be over soon, are not real problems, and that cannot be fixed but can be finished and forgotten.

Wrapping up…

-April! We finished April! It felt like one of the longest months despite it’s lack of a 31st day.

There were:

• 15 busy days of tax season work for Drew,
• an Easter holiday,
• batting practices for Eli, gymnastics Saturdays for Andi,
• 2 days of school volunteer work for me in their classrooms,
• one wedding for a friend,
• 8 days of traveling for me,
• 15 Crossfit classes coached (and hopefully that many workouts worked-out!),
• and 95 12-page papers graded by April 30th.

Always knowing that the spring is busy for our family, this year in particular, I became aware of the necessity to set it apart as a season and procure some protection. I must say “No” or “Not now” to some events, people, and invitations that come in the window of March 1st- April 15th. Hopefully this awareness will protect family sanity and health, allow me to give myself fully to what matters most and support Drew as he does his best work.

• We’ve come to May, the end of the school year. Eli and Andi are wrapping up 2nd and 1st grade at their new school which now feels familiar and fun. New friends, new knowledge, and the bright light of summer at the end of the school tunnel. Amen!

• I’ve finished some good books I’ll recommend to you for the struggles and spirit they document and invoke.

1. All the Light We Cannot See 
2. Tattoos on the Heart 
3. Wild. 

For all that unravels and wraps up, I am reminded that I’m held together by the one who was there before there was time and holds the moments from the mountains to the valleys in reality of great love and a trajectory towards peace.

–

Because of God’s great grace, I was able to convene with my three siblings and  their spouses over this past weekend in Colorado. Unfortunately, Drew and my kids had to stay home here in MO.

I headed to Colorado to celebrate and launch the new e-book series I’m working on with my aunt. Our first two books are out there and available! We launched and they’ve landed! Check out the “You Were Meant for More” series here. Books are also available on Amazon. I am a humble contributor to the process and am excited to let them go where God takes them! 

After my book trip was scheduled, my brother Scot said he was coming to Colorado at the same time. Laura and James decided to come with Baby June, Scot grabbed his wife Kimberley, and Natalie and John jumped out of their regularly scheduled programming to be with us. Our home base was back home…Mom’s house.

The short moments we had together were intentional, celebratory, and authentic. We hosted an evening baby shower to celebrate Scot and Kim’s baby girl due June 5th. Their Colorado community, plus extras from Chicago and California, showed up to celebrate and cheer the breakthrough blessing that is this coming baby. Scot and Kim shared their 10 year old story that lays the foundation for the new thing God is growing within. The living room was pregnant with emotion, joy, deep friendship, huge hopes, and good grace. 

We had a chance to hang out and pig out Monday. We walked the streets of Golden, after enjoying pizza, before heading back to the house for afternoon coffee and leftover cheesecake. We sat outside, in January, on the patio, without coats, under the clearest blue sky, in the middle of a Monday. All together. For just over an hour. Some of the realest life on an un-realistic kind of day.

Eventually, from the concrete patio, Scot was called to the trampoline across the grass. He took to jumping in his tight jeans with the boldness and yes, the jarring aches, of the only 32-year-old I know who can flip on skis, off diving boards, and indeed, on his childhood trampoline.

After watching the Scot show of misty-flips, laid-out back flips, gainers, and 720 twists (the connection to Eli’s genetic code was evident!), we ladies jumped on with joy and the hesitation of being currently pregnant (Kim), recently pregnant (Laura), in tight jeans (Nat) and so full of cheesecake (me). On their own, Laura and Nat landed both front and back flips. No jumping experience in the last 10 years, and up and over they flew!

Sidenote: When I married Drew, he fell in as much love with me as the trampoline at my Colorado homestead. Jumping on a tramp is his favorite. He too, has a fearless back flip. 

I asked Scot to spot me so I could try a back flip..the thorn in my athletic side. I was always afraid to do a back flip growing up. Never did one on my back yard tramp as a kid or teen. Even when my sisters mastered it, I stayed scared and stuck. I finally figured it out 3 years ago on a YL trip…as a 31 year old. I felt victorious- overcoming a 20 year old fear! Without steady trampoline access, my fear replaced my flipping ability and I lost my new found friend within the year.

There’s a video on my phone of my 2011 back flip. Oaks watches it often, and whenever he does, I feel the failure I’m stuck in because of fear. Yes, having a trampoline back-flip rarely affects my daily life and isn’t anything I’d put on a resume anyway. Still I wish I wasn’t scared. I’m hoping to raise my kids with more freedom to flip.

Back to Monday. Scot promised to assist me, we set up to jump, counted to three. For five attempts, I’d just scream and fall. I was too scared. June was cheering me on from the patio railing. Laura yelled, “You can do it Linds. You can do scary, hard Crossfit things, do this!”, and still I’d crumble.

I hopped off and while still jumping, Scot mused aloud, “Man, that’s so cool. Natalie and Laura just ripped off a back flip!”

I chewed on my lip and that comment and headed back to the trampoline.

It wasn’t that I needed to compete or beat my sisters. I simply realized we were all four there for this magical moment and I was the only one who couldn’t enjoy the view from upside down and backwards.

I set my face to the East and started to jump with resolute conviction. I would complete the Sustad Square- Four Flipping Siblings.

Scot put his hand on my back and I held my breath. I took three big jumps and went over. It was thrilling and completely un-dangerous. I screamed- this time in victory. I had overcome! I faced West and tried again. By the fourth flip, I landed on my feet.

Fear was defeated. My kids can update their video library. By the urging, example, and assistance of my siblings, I overcame, pushed through, and joined the back-flip club.

That afternoon on the patio, with the coffee and the sunshine, the desserts and the conversations, the laughing and the vulnerability, and finally with the play and the flipping, we cemented what has always been.

As Sustad siblings, we have pushed through and overcome. The four of us grew up in a beautiful state, in a resourced family, and were raised with wisdom, care, camping trips, skiing weekends, swimming summers, and love.

We are best friends, openly honest, hurt and healed, hopeful and broken.

We are different and very much the same.

Our respect for each other has low points in the past but only deepens as we age.

When we were little, we had constant playmates and  instant allies. We could go anywhere- boring weddings, swimming pools, awkward reunions, or have to stay home with a baby sitter, and we would have a blast- we had each other.

Geography separates us now by as far away as a country. However, our hearts are knit together by the story our shared lives have written. Our spouses have only helped to connect us more deeply and expand the understanding of who we are and where we’re going. (Plus, they have each other for commiserating about what it is to be married to a Sustad!) Sibling vacations have given us some of our favorite adult memories and being Aunts and Uncles only makes everyone, and every gathering, more fun. We are getting older and busier, but still value each other and come immediately home and  feel securely safe when we hear each other’s voice.

Scot, Nat, and Laur- I love you and am honored to flip in your wake and call you my favorites.