3 of a Kind
I have three wonderful children. I am unbelievably blessed to be their mom and am not grateful enough for the gift they are to me and the world. I humbly, and with trepidation, write to celebrate their three-ness and perhaps our done-ness.
Last week Drew took the infant, bucket car-seat to the trash. The two-toned blue Graco served us well for 8 years and 3 kids. It was given to me pre-Eli at a shower by generous Young Life friends. Andi snuggled in just fine in her pink cuteness and rode bold in ole blue. We plucked it out of storage and wiped it clean for Oakley who rode in it “illegally” (the plastic is only ‘safe’ for 6 years) but very safe and snuggly for 16 strong months. To toss it out (recycling is virtually impossible- thanks for researching so well Kris!), marked the end of the baby era in yet another profound way.
Andi in the Graco Blue- 10 days old
Oaks ready to ride- 3rd day of life
Eli 3 months in the Graco Blue
Most powerfully so far, the out of baby transition was when I stopped nursing Oakley. To breastfeed my three kids is something for which I have been and will forever be very, very grateful. Feeding them “shu-shu” was a commitment (yes), calorie-burner (bonus!), money saver (bonus!), but most of all a connection that bound us, slowed us down, and knit our hearts together. I held them, they laid their heads down and nestled in from head to toe. Those daily moments for 3 different years are memories I cherish with all three.
After nursing, they inevitably moved onto drinking other things. In rare form, we have managed to keep track of Camelbak water bottles for Eli and Andi for going on 4 years now. Oakley was gifted a like one by good friends at his first birthday party and is now in the club. I do love the matching and the hydration-provision of this group of three!
Who’s thirsty?
Besides reading books and going outside, my parenting must-do list includes giving babies who outgrow their swaddle (Eli did it at 2 weeks because Drew and I didn’t know how to swaddle effectively, Andi at 2 months because we didn’t fight her when she wanted to wiggle out of it, and Oakley at 8 months because he was sooo big for his swaddle blanket and we just needed to stop!), a “transitional object. The thought is to give your kiddo something to sleep with that stays when you leave the cuddle. Most parents call this a “lovie” or “sleep friend” or simply a stuffed animal.
For my kids, they each have an “Angel Dear” lovie. Eli was gifted his by my boss at the time. We called it Mr. Bear until Eli was two and renamed it “Baby John” after John the Baptist- a bit of a long story. Eli still sleeps with Baby John and will often wear him down the front of his shirt while reading or playing Legos. He flies courageously over the banister in a some sort of a launch games these days and has indeed been a faithful friend through many of Eli’s sleep transitions and play times.
Drew bought Andi her lovie while at a tennis tournament with Park Hill girl’s tennis in Springfield. The shop carried only a few so Drew chose the sleepy lion. We named her “Lady Lion” and Andi slept soundly with her for all her nights and naps for 3 years. She maintains a blasé attachment to Lady Lion these days- a far cry from when we were sent more than once to track her down from being left behind at GG’s house when Andi was 1 and 2 years old!
Oaks got “Mr. Monkey” from Mommy after he was born with money from Aunt Nat who wanted to give the gift of lovie love but didn’t know exactly what I wanted. Indeed, I’m a lovie-snob. Mr. Monkey is a beloved snuggle companion for Oaks. He retrieves Mr. Monkey out of the crib and carries him around saying “Night night” when he’s ready to nap or head to bed! Recently when Oakley threw up in the middle of the night, we swapped the puke-covered Mr. Monkey out for Lady Lion, who we found at Andi’s feet. In the morning, Oakley looked at Lady Lion with perplexity. She subbed sufficiently but barely.” It must be Monkey”; I’m all too happy to indulge him.
Snuggle buddies
There are a few other motifs that characterize childhood in our family:
I went to Chicago with each of the three in my tummy. To visit Aunt Nat at college with Eli in May, to Bonnie’s frigid December graduation with Andi, and for an April Student Staff weekend with Oaks.
We sat each of them in the blue Bumbo a little bit
Bumbo Eli
Bumbo Andi Girl
Bumbo Oaks
We’ve done 3 rounds of cloth diapering
Eli and newborn Andi in cloth- her’s was way too big…we figured it out!
Oaks and his cloth bum
We’ve done 3 kids in the strap on high chair
We conditioned each of them to long road trips early on to visit family and get to Castaway. They are travel champs!
We’ve shared them with people who love them so well– family and good friends- read: the Graves family!!!
We sleep all 3 of them in one room with a sound machine and night light!
So we have Three’s Company and days feel like Three’s a crowd. We suppose they do or will feel like the third wheel sibling. We enjoy Oaks and can say “The third times a charm(er)” And maybe, perhaps, we say “Three strikes and we’re out” but Drew and I are thinking we will take our triple threat, our tri-umphant brood, our blessing three-times over and be done.
While not 100% sure, we feel our family is complete. I feel at capacity- there are days when three times the “Hey Mom… Can I…., Will you…, Ooops I….” refrains feel overwhelming. Three times the injuries, three times the piles of clothes, and the triple accumulation of stuff is enough for me.
Three brains full of creative ideas, three hearts tender and true, three spirits– strong and needing shaped, three bodies hungry, excreting, jumping, twirling, and running, three mouths talking, singing, laughing and crying, and three souls– held by Jesus, destined to be wounded and healed throughout their lives- Eli, Andi, and Oakley are three little people.
Eli’s first birthday- blue chair
Andi’s first birthday- blue chair
Oakley’s first birthday- blue chair
We humbly hold that they are ours to love, lead, know, see, encourage, play with, drive around, learn from, read to, pick up, wrestle down, discipline, forgive, ask forgiveness from, watch, cheer, celebrate, feed, wipe off, ask questions to, support ideas of, hold, carry, and send off to school, teams, trips, dreams, risks, and life. Wow.
We cherish them all three.
