Torso to Torso


A bit of background:


Almost the same height! Well…within 4 inches or so! Throwback pic to 2008. Perhaps we’ve grown…or shrunk?

1. I am similarly height-ed to my husband. We photograph well cheek-to-cheek and can easily embrace.

2. I do not like physical contact.

           The worst– having someone run their fingers through my hair, wrestling, being tickled, having                  my brother grab the back of my legs while I ran  up the basement stairs in our house growing                    up.

The simply undesirable– most backrubs, wrestling, tackling games

But of course I do enjoy- snuggling my children, spooning Drew in sleep, hugging and holding my                        kids, side hugs to all friends/YL kids, embracing my adult family upon reunions, high fives

And now back to present day…

This weekend, we tasked ourselves with the physically taxing work of grass aerating, seeding, fertilizing, mulching, and the domino affect of weed pulling, poison ivy battling, lawn and leaf bag hauling, and extreme sprinkler watering!

All of that was Saturday…after I had had a sleepover with Andi-Girl on Friday night. It was preciously fun to snuggle with her, stay up late hearing her talk about what runs through her head, and then watch and listen to her sleep before I fell asleep myself. The night was less than completely restful however as Sister-Soo has kicky feet- all night long.

After being touched (kicked) all night Friday night, working all day Saturday, and then waking up with energetic (read: physically bouncing off the walls while singing and making repetitive noises) kids Sunday morning, I was ready for a break and headed to the gym for a solo workout at 8am. Bless Drew for letting me leave!

Hand on the garage door knob, head down in key search, I was suddenly assaulted with a tight leg hug from Andi. I would be gone an hour and she hadn’t neccessarily been paying attention to me while I was in the kitchen minutes before, but now, upon realizing I was leaving, she was motivated to grab, hold and hug me. I was of course grateful and felt the love- I was also and even more so, ready to get going. I lamely patted her head- hugging her briefly across her upper back, still standing erect myself, and then turned once again to go.

Three minutes into my drive, I realized my misstep. I wished I had dropped my purse, gotten down on my knees- evened my torso with Andi’s- and enveloped her fully in a “hug-back”.

Kids hugging adult legs is a half-hug. All the investment is on the child…little to no effort is made on the part of the adult to enter in with the shorter,younger, more uninhibited person, quite literally, on their level.

Arms are supposed to wrap about backs, torsos, and chests- not bony knees and impersonal thighs.

Arms should be met with arms.

So I’m thinking all this and resolve, in my head, to hug differently next time- to give and to receive hugs at the level of the other hugging-halfthe I drive on to the gym, endure the misery of the Kelly benchmark WOD and return to a family filled day.

THEN!….we watch The Lego Movie together as a family later last night. Mostly filled with races and chases, all over, the Lego Movie has great messages! I don’t ever want to watch it again, too much peril!- but I love the messages of personal self-worth and the impetus to create with the the mind, imagination, ideas, and personality given to you by the one who created all the bricks. I really wish I could write more intelligently about the meaning of the movie- it was thick and good.

The end of the movie is great and applies here. Oh, and I guess I might spoil it for those who haven’t seen it yet. I’ll attempt vagueness.

Lord/President Business spends most of the movie on gigantic stilts- towering above everyone and lording oppressive, controlling authority- desiring compete and solitary power. At the end, the ordinary Emmet offers him a chance to change- to choose a different way, to enter into the community instead of loom above it.

Lord Business

Lord Business

He literally removes his imposingly long and lofty legs and walks towards Emmet at the same height- 2 Lego inches high. They embrace.

Transversing time, world, and movie screen, the next minute depicts another tall, adult figure who drops to his knees to embrace his child.

A bent knee, a changed heart, an openness to connect. This is where we ought to live.

From our knees, maybe we listen better, look right into eyes, hug better, hold on longer, and can end up making the world great.



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