A Prescription for Inscription

It’s a fall of anniversaries. I wrote a few weeks ago about 11 years of YL staff, the milestone of Andi’s kindergarten initiation, and in a few short weeks, I will attempt to capture the essence of all that is Oakley’s 1st birthday! Time flies, ticks away, and marches on indeed.

Saturday night was a great anniversary evening- a celebration of the 2 year life of Crossfit Northland (CFN). I’m humbled to have been a part of the CFN story for about 28 months- joining the early crowd of wandering WOD-ers who boot-camped around Northland parks, tracks, and spare rooms until the gym officially opened in September of 2011.

I spent most of 2012 pregnant and the gym grew up and out of it’s space as well just after the 1st anniversary/birthday celebration. When the gym moved to its present location near the airport (7900 NW 100th St  Kansas City, MO 64153), I had a 3-month-old baby and some catching up to do. Regular strength components were added to the gym agenda as well as more classes, additional equipment, and new members. For all of its first 20 months, CFN offered a comprehensive class schedule of challenging workouts under the leadership of 3 committed coaches! Brian, Dustin, and Manny carried a huge coaching load on top of their full time jobs and families.

I was invited to consider joining the coaching staff in the Spring of 2013 and was excited and humbled to receive my Level 1 Certificate, alongside my brother-in-law James and gym friend Nathan, on April 28th. This week I’ll coach my 50th class (yes I’ve been counting!) and celebrate the milestones not only I’ve been able to reach (whew! finally pushed past a 135 back squat!) but milestones and threshold breakthroughs of clients and members I’m privileged and honored to lead as a coach.

Crossfit has taken off and grown exponentially around the country and world in the past few years. Carrying with it certain stereotypes, like all brands, Crossfit is the deserving recipient of praise and criticism from inside it’s ranks and the wider public.

Crossfit is not best for everyone, is not the only way to get an effective workout, and is not the sole owner of excellence in fitness. Crossfit is expensive, involves risks, and can be consumingly competitive. There are role models and villains who do Crossfit and plenty of loud voices, tattoos, and athlete body enhancements that happen because of surgery instead of sweat.

While I fully admit all it’s flaws, I heartily celebrate and endorse it’s strengths.

Crossfit is the best and most effective way for me to work out. Crossfit has offered me benefits far outweighing the risks. Through Crossfit, I have received: strength, health of body and mind, a healthy, strong pregnancy, delivery and a speedy recovery from baby #3, friendships, networking connections, caring child care assistance, increased wellness and nutritional accountability, the chance to encourage others and receive encouragement, and a job. Crossfit has exposed my weaknesses (coordination, agility, whatever it is that makes one able to do toes-to-bar…) and pushed me to get better. Crossfit has allowed me to exercise the body God has given me in ways it was meant to move.

The beauty of the core of Crossfit is not its novelty but in its integration. In staying simple, concrete, and connected as a whole, an athlete can be challenged to push the body past current levels of fitness while being safe and having fun!

By definition, Crossfit is “constantly varied, functional movements, executed at high intensity.” The body works as a connected whole in the most efficient and safe manner- Crossfit simply asks the body to move as it was built to move.

Having Oakley more mobile now provides a daily visual of the heart of Crossfit- he holds his lumbar curve as he sits completely upright. His squat is low, loaded and easy. Beautifully, like all babies, he has developed from core (his large tummy, back, and chest muscles) to his extremities (now he’s figuring out the nuances of these legs, hands, fingers and feet).

Crossfit encourages all athletes to move any heavy load from core to extremity (engaging abs, glutes, and lumbar spine) before recruiting from small muscle groups (arms, wrists, hands etc..). Crossfit emphasizes “full range of motion” to ensure joints and muscles are extended, elongated, and explosive. Functional movements require that no muscles are used in isolation, and afford athletes the benefits of a safe, natural, and effective ability to move large loads over far distances, quickly. Most importantly, they are tied into what’s essential to living a long, healthy, and independent life.

Crossfit reminds me that my body is a gift, a tool, and must be ready for anything (grocery carrying, baby-producing, 7 year old chasing/racing, up and over something climbing, swimming/running/playing at any invitation, and much more!) anytime. I am much stronger, a little faster, and more in tune with how my body moves, what it needs, and how to ta

ke on a challenge mentally and psychically.

The expense of Crossfit is no chump change. Money spent showcases values and for Drew and me, Crossfit is well worth the financial investment. We pay about as much for our monthly membership as we do for our AT&T mobile phone plan. For the money every month, I get health and entertainment. I get less of me (hopefully the pounds go away and stay off!) and more of other people- CFN is a fun community of great people who challenge and care for each other.

Drew’s max height box jump last May- 48 inches!!!

Thank you Crossfit for the 2 years now and the health-ful, long life I’ll live from here on out! 

I boldy attempted and conquered the Santa Rosa Marines challenge- a 70 second flex hang in May!

My friend Binny said recently that she is amazed at how many people are constantly begrudging their busyness. Exclamations of exasperation ring out, “I’m so busy! Things are just crazy right now.” Binny asserts it can become a game of who can out-busy who. Anecdotally, she proposed we alter our semantics and in so doing change our perspective. Binny suggested we say, and believe, “Life is FULL.”

In an excerpt from a blog by Dennis Moseley- Williams, see it here being busy is dissected, its guise as the hallmark of productiveness is stripped away.

“Many base their lives on how busy they are. They wear this ”busy” as a badge of honor. I know I did for way too many years. I was proud to tell people how busy I was. Like a right of passage.  Yet, a “too busy” person is basing life on fear. Busy seems to assume you are working hard, that you are responsible and valuable. But, sometimes “too busy” means I am afraid to say “no”. I’ve been trying to please everybody. I fear for my job, fear not being liked and even fear not being busy. It takes courage to say NO”

Instead of focusing on the productiveness of being busy, the promotion of self and the  prideful feelings that come from accomplishing so much in and through our busyness, proclaiming that “life is full” instead turns attention to the fact that we have been given much. Life is full directs us to optimism and to gratitude. Life is full might bring to mind John 10:10- wherein Jesus proclaims his intention to come and bring life that is lived in all its fullness- life that is alive, enough, and connected to God and others, in health and wholeness.

Yesterday at the gym, someone asked me, “How are you?”, I said “Good”, but she couldn’t hear me over the din of dropping weights and the whirl of fans. She asked to clarify, “Good? Are you good?”. For a casual friend, her persistence to hear how I was doing was notable. “Yes! Good!” I said. Then I spent the next 6 pushups really thinking about my answer… “Am I good right now?” I came to the realization, platitudes aside, that YES, I am good! Right now, Life is Full!

A few glimpses of the fullness:

Oakley all love!

1. Oakley.

He is pure joy and precious. 8 months old and all smiles. He laughs, he yearns to make eye contact and share smiles, even with strangers. He is a perfect holding, carrying, and cuddling size and loves to nestle into your neck or chest for a “hug”. He grabs at people’s faces and comes in close. He rolls, pushes up, plays by himself,  babbles sweetly and screeches and grunts persistently. Oaks recognizes people he knows and loves and offers to them the gift of a bouncy, arm-waving, big smile greeting.

The bride and groom

2. Quinton and Erica Osborne. The summer wedding season continued as we traveled to Glen Ellyn, IL for Quinton and Erica’s wedding June 8th. I was blessed to officiate a thoughtful and meaningful ceremony they crafted. The vows were profound, their declarations the most exuberant of any bride and groom I’ve ever served, and their love ever apparent. Our family participated fully and made wonderful memories

Drew as groomsman, Eli as ring bearer, Andi as flower girl, Linds as officiant, and Oaks as stylish wedding mascot

throughout the wedding weekend events. It was beautiful, fun, and a very appropriate celebration for

these two wonderful people!

3. Swimming! The pools are open and the excitement, joy, and swim skills are back in full swing for Eli and Andi. Oaks has been dunked twice without tears so it appears he’s settling into the swimming family agenda with ease.

4. Castaway is 10 days away!!! The prep is keeping me very “full” as I’m writing a devo and thinking about packing us all up for 3 weeks. I’m learning names and faces of the 40 college summer staff and can’t wait to get to meet them in person. The privilege of getting to go and serve there is ever precious.

5. June celebrations! My sister Laura turned 28 on June 14th,  we celebrated doubly for Father’s Day and Gayle’s bday on June 16th, my Grammy turned 83 yesterday and my brother Scot and sister in law MK have birthdays tomorrow! Celebrating the patience, playfulness, consistent care, wonderful storytelling, generous provision, and very present presence in Drew’s dad-ness was a joy this weekend as well. 

6. Maama came from Colorado to visit. It’s always a gift when we get to be with our Colorado family for non-holiday, less crazy and low-programmed visits. Eli and Andi couldn’t wait and Oakley enjoyed sweet one-on-one time with Maama as well. We made breakfast at the park which was an awesome faux-camping move and pretty easy and fun.

Breakfast at the park

7. Coaching Crossfit. I’m really enjoying getting into the coaching groove at Crossfit Northland. It’s humbling to get to speak into people’s goals, coach them on form, and encourage them towards new skills or heavier loads. Adding coaching makes

Crossfit Northland

the schedule more full but is something our whole family is rallied around. Eli climbed to the top of the rope yesterday and then said on the way home, “I was just made to work out Mom. And I really think it’s fun!” I couldn’t agree with him more!!!

In scripture- 7 denotes fullness. Indeed, life is a gift and mine is full. Perhaps you make your own list today and enjoy feeling full!

I am an extrovert in most every sense of the distinction. I believe occasions are more fun, information is better processed, decisions are more effectively made, and memories are more profoundly shared when I’m with someone else.

I’m married to, good friends with, and mothered by, introverts. I’m thankful for the balancing, centering, and generous effect of their internal, quiet, listening lives, and thank them for letting me crowd in when sometimes they’d rather be alone!

So far, it’s hard to tell where Eli, Andi, and Oakley fall on the social-energy-experience spectrum. They all three love to engage with people- Oakley is in a sweet stage of sharing smiles with everyone he sees and absolutely gains energy from a crowd. Eli and Andi can both play for hours alone in their own imaginations or can join forces to play together in such a sweet way it melts this mom’s heart so much so that I let out an audible “Ahhhh, they’re together again” (remember the angst of Eli’s desertion of all things sweet and sibling togetherness for Kindergarten last August) and call Drew right away to tell him how great it is.

We are on the wedding circuit these days as a family. May 11th was Heather and Luke’s wedding in California and we leave in 2 days for Chicago for Quinton and Erica’s wedding. For our whole family to be invited and caught up in these weddings has been a shaping experience for our spring and early summer. We are all thinking about what it means to build a family, to start a marriage, and to share life together in a most foundational way.

In the writing of homilies for these weddings, God’s love of relational connection keeps bubbling up as the paramount reality. Theologically, I cannot escape the togetherness, the internalized extroversion of God.

God IS three persons. Three distinct persons in perfect harmonious union acting to create, sustain, and engage with Creation. The relational reality of God does not stop within Godself. God exemplifies shared life and exhorts us to join in. God pursues people and shows us how, in Christ, to love, connect, and enjoy life inside caring, sacrificial, messy but wonderful relationships.

Twice, in ways that absolutely stood out and made me pay attention, Andi has demonstrated this reality in our front yard.

Outside earlier this spring, I sat down to pull some weeds. Andi came over to join me in the weed infested section of rocks. We pulled a couple more when suddenly the dirt pulled up revealed a pocket of rolly-polly bugs. Andi loves a good insect find and was excited. She said,  “Oooh yay, Rolly pollies!…(1 second passes)… I have to tell Eli.. Elllliiii! (She runs while yelling around the back of the house) Come quick, I found rolly pollies!!!”

She held onto her excitement, her discovery, for about 1 second before she ran to find her brother to share in the joy with her. The fact that Eli doesn’t like bugs didn’t stop her…she could not, would not miss out on sharing this moment with someone else she loved.

Later in April, the day after her birthday, Andi and I set out to harness the wind and fly her new Cinderella birthday kite. The winds were gracious that day and the kite’s plastic sturdy…Cinderella flew high and steady! Andi held the kite string boldly for, once again, about 1 second, before she handed it off to me and ran around the back of the house yelling…. “Ellllliiiiiii…come quick! The kite is flying!”

Because she was amazed, excited and in wonder- she ran off to pull someone else in. She does the same when she is hurt, feeling lost or left out- she cries, loud and emphatically, until someone else joins into her experience.

Presence is powerful. We need individuality and our own space to think and live for sure. Sometimes though, connection with others requires a vulnerability that takes us out of our own selves and allows others in to shape us in the way we were created.

When there are rolly-pollies or high kites, an article that’s helpful, a movie entertaining, a WOD extremely difficult, or a deal on bacon wrapped filets at Aldi, we should share with others. In joy, wonder, shock, pain, or the mundane, lets connect in a relational engagement of that experience.

And with that, I end my extroverted propoganda for the day 🙂

Flower girl and Ring Bearer

Oh the AGONY of long-anticipated events coming to an end! We learned that my cousin Heather would be getting married to Luke (her British beau!) in August of 2012 and began planning a whole family trip for May 2013. When we learned about the wedding and the trip to Santa Rosa/Sonoma Valley/San Fransicso area, I was 7 months pregnant and Eli was 10 days away from starting Kindergarten. While we were in California two weeks ago, Oakley turned 7 months old and Eli missed 5 days of the end of his kindergarten year!

Drew led our family efforts of saving and planning for the trip. We bought plane tickets in December, lodging in March, and a rental car in April. The anticipation mounted and the shopping/packing list took shape. I was asked to co-officiate the ceremony and my kids were graciously invited to be flower girl and ring bearer. We all 5 got some new spiffy clothes for the events of the wedding week. When packing time finally rolled around, my sister Natalie had put together a spreadsheet of days/events/outfits/shoes/accessories. While it might sound superfluous, the schedule of our time together in such an awesome place with great people called for some structure in the packing! Drew loved the spreadsheet Nat created but only took a third of the number of shoes- Nat: 9 pairs. Drew: 3 pairs. Me: 6 pairs.

Mother’s Day

Girl cousins

Our Epic Family California Wedding Trip 2013 included:

• the gathering together of our spread out family: from Colorado, Canada, Seattle, California, and Kansas City.
• the expansion of family- meeting and enjoying Luke and the Sales family from the UK. They were a brave and “brilliant” family to be thrust into the “massive” love, chaos, hoop-la, emotion, and meaning of our family in all its nuances and an American wedding!
• Cultural mixing- many of Luke and Heather’s friends from the UK and around the world came for the wedding- such a great dynamic!
• Events: Wednesday:  Following an eventful and long airplane trip that started at 4:30 am KC time, we went to a 1:30pm Giants game straight from the airport where Drew explained every detail of baseball to some genuinely interested Brits while I breastfed an exhausted baby mid-stands and Eli and Andi were given cotton candy- the vacation was ON!
  

  John and Natalie at the wedding site

  

  The Bride and Groom

  

  Oaks and Auntie Kim

  

  Sweet San Fran hills

  

• Thursday: We toured two wineries, were treated to an amazing lunch at the wineries and then had a family dinner at my aunt and uncle’s home- which is hospitably gorgeous and amazingly set up to grow roses and host views of the surrounding hills of wine country! Thursday ended with the bachelorette party and an In&Out night cap.
• 

  Oakley’s first swim- at the Buchan’s pool

  Friday: Family photo shoot (this is no joke for my family- 22 people, 48 poses, 67 minutes). A hike, manis and pedis, and then some set up, the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner.

• Saturday: Some relaxing by our pool/hot tub at our great rented house, followed by some stress about getting everyone ready on time, followed by everyone in my extended family looking awesome and gathering to witness the love of God imparted to, and supplying in full, the love Luke and Heather pledged to each other in their ceremony.
• The ceremony was followed by a cocktail hour (wine again?! yes please!!!!!!), dinner (artisan pizza bar!), dancing, photo booth fun, gelato instead of cake (Yum!), and a sparkler send off!
• I won’t forget a moment on the dance floor when the bride took a moment to dance with Andi. Heather spun her beautiful wedding dress and Andi watched with awe. Andi spun her flowergirl dress and asked Heather to spin again. Later she would say, “I just couldn’t stop watching her pretty dress spin and spin!”
• It was all almost too much for Eli who reflected Sunday afternoon that “Yesterday was just the best day.” When Laura asked, “The wedding day? What did you like so much about the wedding Eli?”, he responded, “Sparklers!?! At a wedding? Are you kidding me?! AND, ice cream, pizza, a photo booth, and dancing?!! Ah, it was so fun.” His reflection and vocal inflection were priceless.
• Oakley was baby extraordinaire- friendly, sharing smiles easily and often, grunting (his favorite way to talk these days), sitting up, and  being so social. He was flexible and went everywhere at all times of the day/night!
• Sunday: We tore ourselves away from our family and the pool at the Buchan’s and drove to San Francisco to spend two nights in the very chic but very small Hotel California in Union Square downtown. My family was in two twin beds plus a pack-in-play, while my siblings slept 4 adults in a queen size bed and 1 rollaway- ah, small spaces!
  

  Our tour guides

• Monday: With James and Laura as tour guides and Natalie as Aunt with all-hands on deck, we saw the sights of San Fran! On a gorgeous day, we negotiated a stroller, cable cars, buses, trollies, crowded streets, overzealous “locals” and their unsolicited advice, and the hills that provided calf burns and amazing views. The steps down from Coit Tower with amazing lush foliage and views of the city and bay was my favorite attraction.  Eli liked the cable car, Andi loved the spaghetti noodles at this great restaurant set up in an alley in the business district we stumbled upon and fully enjoyed, Drew led us boldly to Ghirardelli Square where we indulged every ice cream whim, and Oakley smiled at people on each and
  

  Cable Car!!

  every mode of transportation and took maybe 2 hours of naps all day.

We got home around dinner time Tuesday night- almost a whole week after we had set out. As we ate Chipotle (thank you Geeg for the ariport pick up and dinner!) around our kitchen table that night. we listed modes of transportation we had taken, people we enjoyed meeting (Andi chose animals as her favorite new “people”- the Buchan’s two dogs), and favorite memories, moments, foods, and things we saw.

It’s only now, 7 days removed from the end of it all, that I can write about it all with only minor heartache. The time was so full, the moments so memorable, and the experiences and conversations with people I love so much so rich, there just isn’t much that can ease the pain of its ending. My anecdote is always to plan the next trip so I’ll close here and say a prayer that my cousin Bonnie’s boyfriend proposes soon…

Oakley turned 6 months old last week. He weighed in at a thriving 15 lbs, 6 oz at his doctor appointment and stretched himself out to show off all 26 inches of his length. Amazing to think that with breastmilk, eye contact, loving touch, and lots of sleep (regardless of how interrupted it usually is!-another story…) he has doubled in size and quadrupled-times-10 his life skills- he rolls over from his back to his tummy, he grabs, grasps and says goo and grunts, he holds his head up, kicks rhythmically and with great strength, holds on tight, stands up tall, trusts and tolerates trips in the arms of siblings, gums and mouths most anything, sits with help, and most pleasantly, smiles with a smile that takes up his whole face and usually makes him turn his head- he’s easily overwhelmed by joy, beauty, and people locking eyes with him!

Alas, it’s time to diversify his eating portfolio. Time to move from sucking and swallowing to a spoon.  If I’m honest, I haven’t been anxious to begin feeding Oakley solids because it’s one more thing to do at a time of day during which the list of happenings is already long! For instance, this morning during breakfast, I made waffles for Eli and Andi, babyfood oatmeal from scratch, and coffee and steel cut oats for myself. It took 1 blender, 2 big bowls, 1 pan/lid, 3 ramikins, the waffle iron, 2 forks, 5 spoons, and 4 measuring cups. I drew the line when Eli asked for powdered sugar on his waffle- besides the sugar overload reasoning, I just didn’t have space to put one more thing on the counter!

Despite the to-do list, I believe in feeding my kids so much that I’m willing to add spoon feeding to the daily routine 🙂 And last night, as we got ready to offer Oakley his first “bite”, I was very excited.

I went with butternut squash for his first food- thank you Kris for sharing your homemade squash!

Oaks went with boldness and confronted the confusing, all new, gooey, not-liquid and yet not a book, sock, toe, or toy- sensation that entered his mouth.

The first two bites went really well! I gave him one, he flinched but then tenaciously maneuvered it to his throat, and swallowed it down. Andi gave him bite number two with equal success.

And I captured it all on video. IMG_1546

Bites 3-7 ended with a bit of gagging and he eventually spit up most everything that had just gone down. It appears he has inherited some of the Lindsey and Poppy gag-reflex. This mornings oatmeal went down with a lot of face scrunching up and was more spit out than swallowed.

At the end, after 1 teaspoon of food had been delivered, I wiped his chin, held him, hugged him and told him I was proud of him for going for something new and trusting me to help him grow. He gave me a tight hug, a short grunt, and a sweet smile.

Cheers! to solids, another seat at the table, and changing poop consistency…Off we grow!

I have two consecutive weekend trips to Chicago coming up. I’m very excited for both- this weekend is the Midwest Division Young Life Student Staff Weekend- a gathering of 200+ elite college leaders. The following weekend, I’m heading back to Chicago for a wedding shower for my soon-to-be sister in law, the Elegant Erica Steinbach. As a bonus, I get to fly both times. As one who frequently drives 600 mile trips, and as one who is currently breastfeeding an infant who will be left behind, expediency is a high value and an airplane ride a gift!

When traveling alone, I look forward to the terminal wait and flight time in the air as time with I’ll get with a book and few interruptions. Undisturbed reading time, time set aside for me to just read instead of do something with or for a child, or at and for my home, is rare these days.

What usually happens to me however, is to have my reading time hijacked by a conversation with a seat partner. I don’t mean to sound negative and impersonal, its just that so often, my “alone”time with a book turns into a flight-long conversation with a stranger! People close to me assure me I ask for it.

After take off, with my book out, I usually make an effort to make a casual friendly remark, just a small humanitarian gesture of goodwill, with the seat mate. A simple question is all I pose and intend to go back to my book, having shared a pleasantry and a face-to-face connection in an increasingly digitally connected world that sometimes severs our authentic, spontaneous human bonds. I usually just ask, or am asked, “Traveling for business or pleasure?” or “Are you from Chicago/Denver/Grand Rapids etc.. or visiting someone?” type of questions.

It seems to me, one can answer the question, perhaps a couple more cursory ones, and then end the conversation. There are naturally derived follow-up questions of course. When someone answers, “Pleasure- its grandparent’s day at my grandkids school in North Carolina”, you ask, “How old are your grandkids?” and then genuinely affirm their grandparent love and dedication for  traveling across the country for an elementary school program. They ask you two simple questions back and the interaction ends smoothly in less than 5 minutes. I’m back to the book!

But no, Not for me. Nope.

When traveling, I wear a sign on my forehead that reads,

“I’m friendly and extroverted.

Please have conversations with me that last the duration of this flight.

Tell me stories. Ask me lots of questions.“

It’s a pretty big and obvious sign, and has over the years, invited many a long conversation with a stranger about Young Life, skiing, Denver, children, babies, breastfeeding, working from home, parenting teenagers, what it means to be a chemist by profession, his brother in law who loves Michigan, and on and on.

I can bring many of these people to mind. And while I sometimes feel frustrated and cheated out of my precious, isolated, book reading time, I often leave the plan feeling energized, encouraged, entertained or at least touched by anOTHER who trusted me enough to share something and listen to me as well.

One particular conversation has stuck with me.

I was traveling back from visiting my cousin in Seattle. I was flying alone on a crowded, 3 hour non-stop flight. I sat on the aisle next to a big, tall, older (at, or pushing 80 years old) gentleman wearing jean overalls. He was from a agricultural world and stuck out on the plane of professional or family travelers. Indeed, I would come to learn he didn’t travel much and had made the long plane trip, one of less than 5 in his life, to visit a dieing niece- a sad story of cancer taking away someone much too young. He was the only surviving member of his generation and his daughter had paid for him to fly up for the time together as a family. The trip had been an adventure for him, he was tired and out of his element, but he was strong and not complaining.

We continued to converse and the topic turned to his late wife. He spoke lovingly of the woman he loved for 55 years of marriage. I was engaged at the time and said something to the effect of, “Wow. I hope I can make it that long and feel that much love for someone all the way through life. How did you do it?” He had a few things to say about commitment and sticking it out, but then he said, in all seriousness, something that shocked me and made great sense at the same time. He said,

“The best thing we’d do was, when we were in a fight and really mad at each other, we’d take off all our clothes. Just get naked, right there, both of us. Then we’d get in the shower to finish the fight. It’s really hard to stay mad when you’re wet and naked. It takes the fight right out of you. We’d end it and make up. So, if you’re in a trouble spot with your husband someday, I suggest you take a shower together, right then.”

Sure, it was funny and I felt a bit uneasy trying not to picture this tall, big man taking off his overalls to fit himself into a bathtub/shower with another grown person!

However, I loved the raw, honest, naked truth in it. I loved the privilege of being the one person on the plane who got to hear his story- with the pain of losing a young niece, having lost the sweet love of his life a few years ago, and now going it alone on uncomfortable and challenging trips cross country, but holding his head up, and sharing what he learned worked to keep love alive and well in his family.

A few years later, I was given a poster entitled “Ways to Really Love a Child” I hung it above my washer and have been grateful to glance at it, read it and remember some of it’s simple reminders as I lug loads of clothes into the washer. A couple admonitions from the poster:

1. Remember how really small they are

2. Make really big forts.

3. Teach them to say I’m sorry

4. Make straws out of licorice

5. Let them paint their tennis shoes

and one that grabbed me right away:

“If they are grumpy, put them in water.”

It was just like the farmer said on the plane! When he and his wife were grumpy, they got in water!

Turns out, getting naked and immersing yourself in water is great for crabby, grumpy, fit throwing adults and kids!

I can report it works for my kids. They love swimming and don’t get mad or stay mad in a pool or bathtub.

Drew and me, we haven’t experimented with the advice as often as we could have but try to take care of our love in some other intentional ways. Perhaps in our next house, the shower will be bigger…

Friday I’ll be on another plane ride. If I’m lucky I’ll get to read my Crossfit training manual in prep for my upcoming certification class to become a certified instructor. Or, if I’m lucky, I’ll get to meet someone new, interesting (or not), who needs someone to talk to and hear from that day. I’ll try to be open to either opportunity.

For the second in what has now officially become a mini-series, today I’m writing about my oldest son. (Reference back a couple weeks to “Appreciating an Andi Antic” for part 1.)

First, you should know Eli has been a very verbal child his whole life. On the day he was born, in the immediate aftermath of awe, amazement, wonder and the overwhelming and awesome realization that we had become parents and were now gifted with, and responsible for, this precious and perfect new little life, in the middle of all of this. he was squeaking and grunting. There were so many noises coming from such a brand new person! I remember thinking, “It’s like he is talking!”

Lo and behold, he has stayed true to form and grown up as a very verbal child, a very competent communicator. Eli loves to ask questions to discover new facts, to clarify points, and to check in with people because he is interested and concerned about them. Just last week, we picked up our sister-in-law for small group in the van. After Christine was settled, Eli craned forward from the back seat and asked, “Hey Christine, how is Zachie (her husband, his uncle, busy that evening coaching tennis) doing in school these days?” Eli genuinely wondered how he was doing and deliberately became a part of the conversation throughout the car.

Besides questions, Eli uses his verbal demeanor to extend invitations. I think perhaps in the whole of his vocabulary, the two most used words are “Hey, let’s…”

Eli loves to start up, repeat, invent, and enjoy experiences of the imaginary, routine, or extraordinary variety. And most of all, he loves to invite others to join in. When Eli says, “Hey let’s…” he is both proposing an idea and extending the invitation for others to fully participate. His invites convey excitement, energy, and inclusion. He’s thinking, not only of what he wants, but what would move everyone into something new, and probably fun or tasty!

Eli makes the Valentine’s Day spoon race a little more challenging with extra conversation hearts and arms out finesse.

Ready to ride a horse this past November! “Hey, let’s ride in the front together Andi”

Some examples of Eli’s “Hey let’s…” invitations:

-all think of a  good April Fool’s idea

-have a little bit of both for dessert

-build a real “ok-go” (our family term for rube goldberg devices)

-count to 100 by 2s- Dad, you go first.

-google who was the first person to dip a cookie in milk

-invite them to eat dinner with us

-build our very own Lego creations for the Lego calendar competition

-do a science experiment tonight after dinner

-find some plastic bags to be our parachutes

-see if Oakley can be the other good guy

– make a real rocket out of this plastic bottle (that he found under the bleachers, last week, at a game, and has kept in his room behind the rocking chair ever since…)

– all pick one comic to read this morning.

When I hear Eli extending one of his invitations, I know a quiet and internal process has taken shape as he hatched the plan in his head, and he is now verbalizing and pitching the idea to others. He’s deliberate in that way and means to make good on the offer for any who will accept his summons!

I appreciate Elijah’s inventive creativity, his constant flow of ideas and thoughts, and his seemingly unbounded imagination- all precious and treasured attributes of what it is to live a robust life as a child. But what I appreciate about the “Let’s” preface is his desire to experience life with other people. Sure, he plays well by himself and isn’t discouraged when we refuse or put off his offer because of our pesky adult schedules or lack of creative imagination, but in his deepest self, he’d love to share whatever it is with others.

In this way, Eli would have gotten along well with Jesus and the cultural norms of the 1st century New Testament world. When Jesus lived, there was very little individuality, instead you were you because of others with whom you associated. Kinship- your family connections, determined religion, vocation, marriages, and political alignments. Instead of choosing for ourselves, pushing for our own agendas, and us all owning our own lawn mowers and washing machines, there was a much bigger sense of shared life back then. Sharing with others today can be inconvenient to us as individuals. Luckily someone like Eli can remind us its worth the challenge to experience the community.

Eli sees the value in not going it alone. He appreciates the creation of something out of nothing, right away, and for the purpose of enjoying the process and the result of said creation with someone else, basically anyone else, who wants in on the adventure. I hope I too can invite others in and look for the “Let’s” of imagination and creativity that make each day a little more meaningful and exciting.

First- this photo I snapped outside our front door today. Check out the clunky boot print next to the tender dance of tiny bird feet. All marked by snows dusting. A spring story on my steps.

Now a long take on Easter meditations.

Yesterday the snow cancelled services at church. The news that we wouldn’t have to rush, drive, and move our family through a cold and snowy morning brought relief. However, both Drew and I were quickly saddened by the fact that we would miss the community and focus of going to church on Palm Sunday. We ourselves, and for our children, wanted to experience the Story, wanted to move into the moments of Lent’s culmination. So we did some church at home and had a great time experiencing the Palm Sunday story with Eli and Andi.

Today at breakfast time, I told the kids this week is called Holy Week. Without much forethought into flushing out the meaning of the term before I spoke it, I thought quickly of how to kid-ify an explanation. “It’s a week to focus on Jesus every day to get us ready for Easter’s celebration,” I said.

So now, as Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 9:27, “Lest after preaching to [my children],  I myself  should not become disqualified,” I too want to orient myself this week towards a focus on Jesus and a movement into the affirmation, celebration, and awe of the resurrection reality that anchors my faith.

My 2013 Holy Week “snippets”

Well, actually some are long. You might want to read these over a few days!

(no deep theological research was preformed in the compilation of these snippets- just my musings and the Spirit…)

1. The journey to Jerusalem- Mark 15:40-41- “Some women were there, watching from a distance, including Mary Magdalene, Mary (the mother of  James and Joseph) and Salome. They had been followers of Jesus and had cared for him while he was in Galilee. They and many other women who had come with him to Jerusalem were also there.”

When I read this passage last week, I was struck by the women’s willingness to move with Jesus from Galilee, a place of familiarity and normalcy (a quieter, more simple, and homogenous place) to Jerusalem- a hotbed of religious and political friction. These women were not content to let their care and concern for Jesus end when a challenge came. They followed him in his risking, his suffering, his humiliation, and his death. They cared for him not only when he was popular, infamous at least, in Galilee but when it cost them dearly to do so, when he was the object of a mobs cries for crucifixion. Am I willing to risk my own comfort to follow Christ?

2. Being Welcomed- Mark 11:8ff- “Many in the crowd spread their coats on the road ahead of Jesus, and others cut leafy branches in the fields and spread them along the way. He was in the center of the procession and the crowds all around him were shouting, ‘Praise God! Bless the one who comes in the name of the Lord…'”

Reading this with our kids yesterday, I kept thinking about what it is to make a long journey, to endure the trials of traveling, and then to have someone welcome you at the end of the trip. My first time home from college as a freshman during fall break, I was welcomed by a huge sign my mom had made and hung outside the house that read, “Welcome home Lindsey!” in her bubble-letter best. I’ll never forget it. As much as it felt good to be home with my family, there was also a physical marker to show they thought about what the journey meant for me and made preparations to mark my coming. Jesus came into Jerusalem as an upside-down king. Not on a powerful war horse adorned with rich blankets, but on a donkey, astride the cloaks and rags of ordinary folks. These people welcomed him not because he had won a major military victory, but because he was coming to win the greatest struggle there ever was. Whether they understood what was ahead of him or not, the people offered a physical sign, branches waved and laid, that they anticipated his coming and welcomed him with all they could. What will mark my anticipation this week?

3. Filled with agony- Mark 14:33ff- “He took Peter, James and John with him and he began to be filled with horror and deep distress. He told them, ‘My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death.'”

During a Lenten time of  morning stillness a couple weeks ago, I read this passage. And re-read it. And re-read it. Really?,  Jesus was filled with horror…deep distress…his very soul was crushed. I imagined Jesus’ body, soul and self being filled up with overwhelming distress at what was happening. Sin was coming directly toward him in the form of betrayal, wrongful accusation, abandonment, and emotional and physical suffering of the most severe degree. He knew full well what was coming and very humanly felt overwhelmed by the awfulness of it.

I think this filling-up still happens with Jesus. When innocence is spoiled by force, when the helpless are exploited, when a family is broken, a woman abused, a child harmed, a life destroyed, justice perverted, ignorance elevated, wrongs ignored, or anytime the opposite of what is LOVE and GOOD and PURE wins out for the moment, Jesus feels deep distress today. I have to believe when people are suffering horrors, Jesus himself is still filled up with horror- that he suffers alongside humanity in their ills.  God knows and understands and ultimately, I believe, will win over the darkest dark. May I be aware of darkness and help someone in distress.

Called out-  Mark 15:21- “A man named Simon, who was from Cyrene, was coming in from the country just then, and they forced him to carry Jesus’ cross”.

And to think I don’t like to have my plans changed! Simon was probably coming to town to celebrate the Passover just like many others. The Bible mentions his sons’ names so we assume it was a family affair- probably an annual custom with norms they’d come to appreciate, anticipate. Perhaps they’d even grown used to the grotesque cruelty of crucifixions and most years timed it so they could sneak in before the gruesome parade. Maybe this year, whatever held them up back in the country (I’d wager it was a stubborn sheep) delayed them long enough they were crossing the road right in front of the convicted criminals on the way to their deaths. A curt and threatening soldier grabs Simon, yanking him away from his sons, and forcing him to carry a cross for a stricken, abused, and bleeding man he sees collapsing under the cross’ weight. With no choice, Simon joins the procession, carries the cross that will kill Jesus to the correct spot. Did he choose this task, sign up for the duty, intend to help bring about Jesus’ death? No, but he became a tactile part of the process. Yikes. Sin’s momentum, at times uncontrollable, carries us along into choices we wish we didn’t make. I hope to become aware of sins ravages on my life and walk out from under their weight.

Godforsaken- Mark 14:36-37- “Everything is possible for you…please take this cup from me” and then Mark 15:34- “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?”

It’s difficult to rationalize, theorize, or apologize for the cries of help and deliverance of Jesus that go seemingly ignored by God in these hours. If the Trinity is unequivocal oneness, how could the God, “Father” truly abandon Jesus, “Son”? In trinitarian unity, this separation seems impossible. Jesus was never truly alone or abandoned right? I don’t fully know but today I read a meditation by Jurgen Moltmann that is helpful. He writes,

  “Christ’s request  [the removal of the cup] was not granted. God, his father, rejected it. Christ’s true passion begins    with the prayer in the garden which was not heard, which was rejected through the divine silence. He died with this cry [Eloi, Eloi, lma sabachthani] which expresses the most profound abandonment by the God on whom he had pinned all his hopes and for whom he was hanging on the cross. What Christ was afraid of, what he wrestled with in Gethsemane, what he implores the Father to save him from, was not spared him. Is there is any answer to the question why God forsook him? Is there any answer to the agonizing questionings of disappointment and death? A real answer to this question cannot be a theoretical answer beginning with the word “Because.” It has to be a practical answer. An experience of this kind can only be answered by another experience, not by an explanation. A reality like this can be answered only by another reality. It is the answer of resurrection: “For a brief moment I forsook you, but with great compassion I will gather you.” The passionately loving Christ, the persecuted Christ, the lonely Christ, the Christ despairing over God’s silence…. Our disappointment, our loneliness-es and our defeats do not separate us from him; they draw us more deeply into communion with him. And with the final unanswered cry, “Why, my God why?” we join in his death cry and await with him the resurrection. “

A courageous ask- Mark 15:43- “Joseph from Arimathea…gathered his courage and went to Pilate to ask for Jesus’ body.”

I don’t know much about this Joseph but I do know about gathering courage before asking for something. I’m from the line of people who doesn’t like making phone calls to set appointments for car maintenance or hair cuts (you know if you’re one of us). I have to pump myself up, take deep breaths and assure myself I won’t die if the phone conversation falls flat or gets awkward. Joseph of Arimathea on the other hand, couldn’t assure himself he wouldn’t die for this request. Who knew how volatile Pilate would feel on this day. Yet, like the women who journeyed in risk, Joseph was willing to risk his own life and reputation to take care of Jesus. Tenderly, carefully, caring for him in his death. Doing what he could with what was left to show devotion and respect for Jesus the man, not yet proven to be the risen Messiah. Joseph was deliberate, courageous and careful. I hope I can be too.

He is Risen- Mark 15:6- “You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He isn’t here! He has been raised from the dead!…Jesus is going ahead of you to Galilee. You will see him there.”

The shocked and bewildered women, who followed Jesus to Jerusalem, stood at his cross witnessing agony, defeat and death of all their hopes and dreams, are now at the tomb- trembling. bewildered, afraid, in awe. And assured. All they had hoped for, all they dreamed Jesus was to be and would do, was coming true. He was not dead. He was ALIVE. Newly resurrected, brought back from suffering and pain and death and given newness, renewal, rebirth, and victory. He would meet them back where they lived, in Galilee. He would move forward with them in their life. Now with the power to bring new life, unadulterated hope, and unquenchable peace to them as they lived out their lives. This alive Jesus lives in me! Amen!

He is Risen Indeed- The Word lives on.

Resurrection must be made real in my life. In the way I live and work, think, parent, love, and write. I must believe Jesus is capable of making all things wrong and horrific, right in the end. That the God I believe in will not let things end in suffering, agony, death, and defeat but will act in continual resurrection strength to heal, offer hope, redeem, and renew the brokenness that often defines our days. He is Risen. We must celebrate!