A Prescription for Inscription

As the last but not least, youngest but no longer a babe, and sweet son we cherish, Oakley Andrew fills an essential role in our family.

Oaks turned four last week. Four! Four is dangerously close to five which leads to way big stuff like six, seven, and eight, and is so separate from little kid stuff like two, or even three. I was in so much denial I asked Awesome Aunt Nat for 3T Christmas jammies. Unfortunately for me, and Nat who had to negotiate a return, Oakley’s leg length was 4T long before October. I simply hadn’t noticed due to summer shorts as his only style.

Now that I’m on board, mind set and heart happy even, I am writing the Oaks bday blog. 10 days late.

Oakley, as Osborne kid number three, not much is new for you. Daddy and I have been parents before, Eli and Andi have been siblings, and all our baby stuff was worn in well by the time you slept, sucked on, or sat in it.

However, you are the only you we get Oaks. And, you are prized and precious just the way you are, just because you’re you. 

Here are some only Oakley things I celebrate and remember for you Oaks: 

1. Planned on purpose. You’re the only baby Daddy and I decided to try for, waited for, and for whom we welcomed a positive pregnancy test without great surprise.
2. I did not have a c-section with you after having one for both deliveries of Eli and Andi.
3. You took to trains. You are our only kid who has enjoyed playing with trains. Thanks for introducing us to Thomas. Surely we would not have made it through parenting toddlers without that friendly tank engine?
4. Life’s realities came fastest to you. Eli and Andi cared about you and loved you. Andi especially enjoys intentional time with you. However, since they are four and six years older, you got life handed to you a little faster. As a much younger kid than E or A, you got: candy, movies, Kidz Bop, tackles, Nerf guns, your own room, language( “What the heck in the world?” and “Boom! Heck! What?!” you say as a three year old.), and an 8:30pm bedtime.
5. Closest to cousins. Oaks, you’re lucky to be only two years older than your closest cousin instead of the nine and seven years Eli and Andi spread between June. I’m grateful you’re loving all your little cousins (June, Wilson, Vienna, and Henley) now and know you’ll love being their littlest big cousin and friend. 
6. I enjoyed you all by yourself. I love that Eli and Andi were close in age and feel like life with both of them at once was my best parenting. However, I cherish and celebrate the solo shot I got at having you, later, on your own. I liked being older as a woman and more experienced as a mommy which meant I got to give you some of my best too. (**see number 4 for how I gave you not the best sometimes)
7. Most intense medical history in our first decade of parenting. You went to the CMH ER for stitches on your ear in February 2014. Nothing worse than ear infections for Eli or Andi!

Oaks, it’s because of you we are doing the Gap Year. I loved my days home with you but wanted Eli and Andi to have the same chance to enjoy you as I did. I wanted you to get to know them really well, to play with, fight with, and learn with them.

Oaks, it’s because of you we get to laugh, slow down, be amazed and enjoy the little things through your eyes in a way we would miss if you didn’t share so well with us.

As you grow up, we will celebrate your uniqueness and affirm your connection to a life bigger than yourself. You are blessed Oaks, to be a blessing. You have strength and sweetness, words and great ideas, humor and energy that can make a difference if you’re kind, intentional, grounded in Christ, and brave. I believe you can do big and hard things, and I promise to watch, process, and help as I can.

“It’s a good thing we have Oaks.” Amen. For sure.

To the tune of “There’s a Hole”

There’s a hole in my backyard dear reader, dear reader. 

There’s a hole in my backyard, so deeply, a hole.

Who dug it, you’re asking, you’re asking, you’re asking, 

Who dug it, dear Lindsey, who dug it so deep? 

It’s Eli! and his friends, and buddies, and siblings, 

It’s Eli! and his friends, and with shovels and buckets!

10 days ago Eli asked if he could dig a hole under our swing set. I was happy to say YES! Not able to fully gauge the scope, or should I say depth, of this request, I knew at least this was a good spot for a hole. Other areas, other times (ie: 1. Beside our deck when Oaks was a toddler and the 12 inch hole filled with water- not a good place! or 2. Right after the neighbors moved in under their deck without asking- not a good time or place!) were not good ideas but here, under the swing set, the grass grows high and waits for a whacking. There isn’t much else to do under there. Yes, Eli, go ahead and dig.

He wasted no time. Eli thinks about the hole at first waking and heads out for some digs before school.  He comes home and drops his backpack by the rakes in the garage and heads back out to the hole. His clothes are filthy, his shoes filled with dirt, and his soul singing.

There were a few days where the hole brought neighborhood havoc- hole leaders Eli, Will, and Drew wanted to charge fees for touching the hole ($.25 per day) or $1.00 for full hole membership. There was the scale conundrum where only those weighing 60 pounds could jump on the shovel in an attempt to dig deeper.

I intervened with what I thought was a great lecture about how greatness created should be greatness shared.

“Think of all those free apps you like playing on your phone.” I asked.

“Yes.”

“Wouldn’t that stink if you had to pay $.25 every time you wanted to play?”

“Yes.”

“Just like great games, created by someone who worked hard and made something cool,  we share the hole so everyone else gets to experience what cool thing we made.”

The scale was put away and no fees have been charged or collected. 

The hole is a WIN!

• Impressively deep and wide and made completely by kids. 
• Lots of kids have participated, played, and worked together and hung out for hours around the hole.
• Eli loves an adventure and project and goes intensely into what he sets his mind to. This is one I encourage and enjoy watching wholeheartedly.
• And my favorite part, the hole reminds me of my brother Scot who dug a hole when he was nine in our backyard in Colorado. Along the way he dug up three shoeboxes of bunnies we had buried after their stint of being our pet passed. I remember the bunnies and then I remember the bottom or the hole. It was deep and wide and cool in the shade of the giant pine tree it was under. I don’t remember all the hours Scot spent digging, I don’t think I helped much. But I do remember being proud of him. He had made something great, by himself. With muscle, grit, and determination and back then too, help from friends.

Now, I’m proud of my mom as well. She said YES to Scot when he thirsted for adventure that would make a mess. This is not always easy for me.

The hole is a PAIN!

• Have I mentioned the dirt? Dirt in the shoes, on the carpet, in the entry way, on their clothes, in the kitchen, in pockets, caked on socks…
• Where do we put the dirt that’s dug out?! I readied a spot along the fence and very quickly, it overflowed- completely covering my baby and barely there lilies. We rescued them…I think.
• The dirt is all over the grass right around the swing set box. This grass is probably dead. We work so very hard to not have our grass die.
• Eli wants a snack at a most inconvenient time now…not right after school as regularly scheduled and when Andi and Oaks have theirs, but later. Like 30 minutes into hole digging when he is covered in dirt, surrounded by other kids, and wanting it served hole-side.

But mostly the hole is just another reminder of how lucky we are to live here and call this home. Like the hole, our family in this house is: a bit messy, unstable in parts, crowded and loud, but deep and fun and open for hard work alone or with a crowd. 

Come on over…bring a shovel.

And beware, if your kid reads the book Holes 3 times, the digging itch will probably take root.

Sunday will bring the Royals to the ALDS Game 3 (Let’s GO ROYALS!) and our family to the celebration and recognition of Oakley’s Birthday 3.

Oakley was born on 10-11-12 which means for the last THREE WHOLE YEARS, I have been:

• Carrying Oaks in my arms, or on one hip
• Reading 6-10 books aloud daily
• Rocking in our rocking chair ( A precious gift from Drew’s grandpa-christened by Eli and Andi. The comfort and coziness, cuddles, Curious George books, and occasional crying are all held in the beige rocker we cherish.)
• Saying, “Drew! Look!” and pointing out something cute, smart, precious, or fun that Oaks is doing
• Watching Eli laugh at something Oakley does and help him out.
• Watching Andi play with Oakley and bring him into her worlds
• Singing songs in my voice that brings adults to cringing but my children, so graciously, to smiles and sleepy send-offs
• Strapping him into carseats (only after E and A could buckle themselves did I go ahead and have a baby and start all over in the car seat category!)
• Watching in awe as he sees something in the world or someone else and lets it light up his whole face with joy.
• Saying, “Thank you” as Oakley is a gift for which I feel undeservedly blessed.
• Making food for Oaks that will help him grow.
• Balancing a baby/toddler and working from home.
• Asking for help from family and friends who have stepped in care for Oaks when I’m working or away.
• Smiling
• Loving having 3 kids and being our family.
• Wondering if I’m doing okay as a mom.
• Sharing Oakley with Parent’s Day Out teachers, Jacob’s Well volunteers, babysitters Emma, Carly, and Abby, and our family. Hearing what other people notice in Oaks affirms or deepens my understanding of who he is and where he’s heading.
• Holding Oaks in tears.
• Hugging Oaks in early morning exuberance.
• Sneaking peaks and back rubs while he sleeps.
• Playing with Oaks- keeping up with his energy and imagination best I can.
• Taking deep Mom breaths and wondering why I get so overwhelmed
• Balancing 2 kids in school and one at home.
• Giving Oaks prayers and blessings.
• Enjoying simple days at home just me and Oaks.
• Taking him to non-kid places that I have to go
• Affirming Andi’s wise words a year ago at his party: “Good thing we have Oaks!”
• Welcoming the chaos, loving the surprises, treasuring the wonder, marking the moments, paying better attention in my mom maturity, making mistakes, kissing, laughing, taking notes, being outside, and being so so grateful that he is mine, and ours, and 3 big-boy-years-old.

I celebrate Oaks as a gift and pray God grows Oakley up secure in God’s great love for him in Christ, and gives Oaks reminders of the presence and power of the Spirit to help, heal, and offer hope to the world.

We love you Oakley Andrew Osborne!

I was gifted the experience of a relaxing Sunday afternoon with a friend and an elaborate spa facial a few weeks ago.

The vulnerability of laying naked-faced with someone picking at every pore was simultaneously raw and relaxing. I was forced to give my fears about my face away, and chose instead to relax into the moment- accepting that this was the face I received in my genes, takes me into the places I live, and will be with me til the end. Yes, I need to take care of the skin upon it, but to altar it greatly cannot be done. I must live in my face with grace.

By far the best part was the hot towel face wrap. Spinning two warm towels over my face with just a hole in the middle for breathing, the technician pressed down hard on the whole of my face under the warmth. The firm pressure released tension and felt wonderful.

Two weeks after the facial, I went to a yoga class- my first at a yoga studio instead of a gym setting or prenatal DVD in my living room.

Led by a highly qualified instructor (yogi?), the class was very hands on with multiple instructors working around the room to push us deeper into already uncomfortable-but-good-for-me poses. After being let out of the last stretch, we were invited to lay flat in the quiet with eyes closed and body still. I was once again vulnerable to the experience around me- in the middle of a busy day, I found myself far away, in the dark, and in peace. After three minutes, one of the instructors started to massage my feet. Between four of them, they massaged every foot in the room. Oh, the feet they must encounter and the gift they give in touch.

Driving away from yoga that day, I had the thought that I should give my kids a facial and a foot massage. Within the week, I took action.

After dinner, I grabbed whichever one was closest and clipped long finger and toe nails. The clipping revealed some stink and stuck-in gunk in their toes so I started them on a foot soak around the table. Simple soap and warm water, they soaked and splashed. Oaks, with a huge grin, had his bowl on the foot stool.

After the soak, I heated up my heat pack and got three hot towels. I lit candles in my room and gave them each a pillow to lay on. In a line, they alternated between face towel relaxation, heat pack heart warmth, and lotioned foot massage. Oakley lasted the first 3 minutes and chose to forgo a face towel wrap. Drew finished the Oakley spa evening with stories and bed.

For Eli and Andi, they appreciated the ambiance, the attention, the touch, and the presence. They loved the feeling of massage on face, calf, and foot. Andi especially relaxed and enjoyed the physical touch- she is a very physical child and this positively filled her up. Eli, usually moving too fast for touch, laid impressively still with his body, but kept his mind and mouth in continual motion as usual. They both expressed gratitude audibly and in their reluctance for the experience to end.

Mostly, I was moved. I got to touch and see, handle and hold my big kids’ bodies in ways I haven’t for a long time. In rubbing their feet, I fell in love again with how small and precious they are. As I rubbed their face, I spoke affirmation over who they are and encouragement for what they might do. I held their head in my lap and was very, very overwhelmed with how much of a gift they are to me and the world.

The next day meant socks and shoes and peanut butter lips on those small feet and faces. Underneath and deep down however, we were all a little more in tune with each other and the life inside our skin.