A Prescription for Inscription

October 13, 2014

Royal’s Rally

I have many additions this year to what is often my favorite season: Fall!

“New this fall” includes:

a two year old and the language, personality, and fast feet that come with him…Oakley turned two on Saturday!
a house in one of the quintessential fall tree-color-candy neighborhoods of the Northland. Yay for the Coves beauty!
a niece- sweet and special June Marie Bruce.
a (real!)perfectly shaped white pumpkin that came covered with subtle glitter sparkles from a fall fest- my mantle must-have!
a chance to cheer- joining with a whole, hungry city, I’m loving the late nights watch-parties and the early morning paper pour-overs as we devour the story, emotion, and highs of the Royals’ playoff march.

I watched the Wild Card game after Young Life club at Gayle and Steve’s with Zach and Christine. Drew had momentarily given up hope after the 7th, and taken the kids home (great Dad move, poor fan move), and was watching alone on an iPad screen.

The KC Star has given us the chance to bring the Royals home…in the shape of square paper men. If this is what gets Drew Osborne to do a craft, I’ll take it.

Amongst pacing, rally cap wearing, actual nail biting, hooping, hollering, heartracing, high-fiving, groaning, and jumping up and down, we held onto each and every moment of the play of the Royals, the decisions of the coaches, and the unrelentless dedication of the fans standing up at the stadium. For those who know who went, they say it was “indescribable” and “probably the best single experience of their life”.

These Royals are giving us a gift. We are surprised and grateful. In Kansas City, the fountains are blue and the people are anything but. People walk around wearing good cheer and tons of hip or vintage, very very blue, Royals gear. On big screens or live and in-person, we are interested in every (and every extra) inning. We lovingly bear the stress and strain of the small-ball squeak outs and late inning shut-em down hits.

As I write today, October 13th, 2014, the Royals have a 7 game winning streak:

They won their last regular season game 6-4 versus the White Sox in Chicago.
Two days later, they won the Wild Card game versus the A’s, 9-8 in 12 innings, with a Salvador Perez double in the bottom of 12. Then they won three against the Los Angeles Angels for the American League Division series
ALDS Game 1: Royals 3, Angels 2... 11 innings with a Mike Moustakas home run in the 11th inning! (We watched at home on our iPad)
ALDS Game 2: Royals 4, Angels 1... 11 innings with a 2 run home run by Hosmer in a 3 run 11th inning. (We saw the final 2 innings after going on a date to Blanc and Gone Girl…we were home in time to see the gone ball)
ALDS Game 3: Royals 8, Angels 3... 9 innings with an Alex Gordon triple that scored 3 in the first and amazing outfield catches by Cain and Aoki. (We watched at Kauffman!)
ALCS Game 1: Royals 8- Orioles 6 in 10 innings with an Alex Gordon home run in the 10th and Escobar and Moustakas home runs earlier. (We watched at Todd and Nancy’s house in JoCo- Eli and Andi staying up til 11:55pm when the game ended!)
ALCS Game 2: Royals 6-Orioles 4 with the 4-4 tie breaking in the 9th with RBIs by Escobar and Cain in the 9th. (We watched at Gayle and Steve’s and then James and Laura’s before we said goodbye to my Mom, the goodluck charm from Colorado)

Huddled together and keyed in close, Drew and I watched in awe and “Ah-yeah!” as the Royals took down the Angels and their “best record in all of baseball” and their “Matt Trout threat”…twice, at the Angels home. We went from Ipad small screen to seats at the K for Game 3 of the ALDS! After a tailgate with all our kids, my mom and sister from Colorado, and Laura and June, Drew, James, Quinton and I went to seats in 421- a bit towards first behind home plate.

From that game, I take away feelings of excitement, celebration, camaraderie, thrilling fun, and the recognition that I was a part of something live, in my city, that I’ve only ever watched happen to other towns on TV. I loved standing by Drew, high-fiving my family and hugging the stranger next to me. I loved sitting in the middle of rain and watching the Royals try their best and really enjoy the victory.

Game 3 was to be played here in KC tonight but is rained out and postponed. Our hearts be still. As much as sleep and schedules have been thrown off over the last two weeks, (Eli’s teacher took a personal day after the Wild Card game, my 5:30am Crossfit faithful have fallen off, and even police officers say the crime rate has been down…criminals stuck at home watching late inning games I guess!), as a city, we can take a rescheduled game. For people who have actually waited 29 years, they will wait 29 more hours.

For my kids, it’s been 7 years of cheering for the Royals. Eli hummed “Let’s Go Royals, clap, clap, clap!” before his mouth could mold the words. Eli was on the big screen 4 games in a row at Kauffman in 2007- as an almost 1 year old. Andi went to games as a brand new baby and wore pink Royals gear and picked Billy Butler as her favorite as a 2 year old. Uncle Zach would tease her and call her Silly Butler to which she responded with sass. Oakley, went to his first game as a 6 month old, and right now says, “Royals” when he sees a logo or crown on paper or clothing. If we say, “Let’s go Royals!” he says, “Clap, clap!”. His very pregnant Aunt Laura taught him how to swing a bat while babysitting him in September and he’ll ask, “Mom, pitch!” often now.

As a family, we are excited and grateful this is our fall.

What happens if they lose? We still win…this has been a really stinking fun fall.

October 6, 2014

by Lindsey
in Children's Chatter, Faith, Hope and Love
Comments ( 0 )

June…in September

I am something new.

I am the same as last week but also forever changed.

I have become an aunt.

All thanks to 8 pounds of purely precious June Marie Bruce.

The road to aunt-ness has been a journey of great anticipation, some years of lonely impatience, nine months of admiration and awe at a thoughtful and strong preparation for parenthood, and tears, oh there have been tears.

After Christmas 2011, I sat in my mom’s kitchen in Colorado with my adult siblings around the table and my two young children underfoot, and asked Laura when she and James (then married 3 years) were thinking of having a cousin. You can see the lens by which I viewed their life was through my own- their baby would give my kids a cousin and give Drew and me some parenting peers in the sometimes lonely role of being the only couple with kids. I guess the loneliness was a bit more acute that evening because when Laura told me it would be another couple of years, I started crying. Everyone just kind of looked and me and let me feel it out…no, Laura wasn’t going to have a baby for me…obviously. Deal, Linds and give people baby-making space!

Drew and I forged ahead and had another baby ourselves (ah, Oakley) in 2012. We think our kids are some of the luckiest in the world…Eli, Andi, and Oaks are loved by 6 sets of aunts and uncles who know them and enjoy them. A life blessing 12 people long.

On Valentine’s Day this year, I cried aunt-anticipation tears again. Laura and James told Drew and me over lunch of final Valentine’s Day present coming 8 months later! At that table, the tears were for Laura and James- their family was growing. My joy was first for them, then for me…as it should be.

From March til September, Eli, Andi, and even Oakley, got around the cousin idea. Eli would introduce Laura’s belly to his friends, “Want to meet my cousin?” Andi drew pictures and wrote stories of Laura’s journey through pregnancy to the hospital and into new-mom joy. Oakley’s anticipation was purely physical, he hugged Laura’s tummy, pointed when we asked where the baby was, and carefully calculated to find a seat on her lap in those last days.

Oakley and I got to be a part of the early stages of Laura’s labor on her due date. That day, Aunt Laura and Uncle James were remade as they worked their own kid into the world over a thrilling, tiring, focused, un-medicated, and triumphant 24 hours. It was September 27th that they became brand new themselves; they are now “mom” and “dad”.

Laura was completely mentally and physically ready for the work of working her baby from the inside out. James was steady and encouraging, unflinching in his advocacy for Laura and the life that was soon to be in his arms.

When we heard there was a baby to snuggle after Laura’s night of hard work, we loaded up and headed to the hospital with one multi-colored flower, one still gender neutral balloon, and 5 giddy people.

To see Laura holding her baby brought the final tears on my pilgrimage to being an aunt. I was overwhelmed with the joy for seeing a healthy baby finally here and my strong sister, so ready to be a mom. She introduced us all at once as we crowded around and climbed up on the bed, “This is June Marie.”

“It’s a girl baby!” I cried! Andi and Eli were excited…not even the slightest slight from Eli, the boy-est of boys. We loved June from that very first moment. To see Drew with a baby girl in his arms and to know how uninhibited his happiness and love was for this baby and her parents, was a moment I’ll remember in that hospital room for a long time.

June Marie is a gift. As I know her now, I think she’s just wonderful. To see her is to see sweet and small, intricate and healthy, precious peace, and tiny strength. The doctor called her vigorous in her first minutes and she does indeed do life with her own energy. I’ve seen her eat, sleep, and wiggle, I’ve seen her follow the voice and the face of her mom and dad, and tolerate a photo session. I’ve been with her at Royal’s playoff watch parties and division series tailgates! She is strong and social. Hallmarks of a girl who will make her way in God’s world with deliberate action and a passion to be around other people. June puts her curled up hands to rest on her sweet, soft cheeks, sticks one leg straight out, and cuddles in close for your touch and warmth. You cannot deny her desire to be wrapped up in the love you freely have to give to her.

June, as your aunt, I’m amazed. I am encouraged that I already love you so much and miss you when I don’t know what’s going on in your day. To add love for you expands the heart and head space I have for kids in my family. I have three kids and one niece and that feels so good. I want to be a really good aunt to you June, and I will have to learn how along the way. Right now, as I hold you, know I’m praying for you, and studying you, and cheering you on as you adjust to the very new world you’re in.

I will continue to hold you in my head and arms as you adjust to the world as it changes around you and you change within it. Know that I will love you always and no matter what. Know that you have parents who will steward your life with care and creativity and great, great love, but that you’ll also have an aunt, uncle and three cousins just 10 minutes away who are ever ready to play with you, take care of you, and hold you dear even when you no longer fit on one forearm.

We celebrate that you are YOU, and you are here. We will be on watch to see and cheer who you will be.

Welcome June. Thanks for making me an Aunt. Let’s grow up together.

September 22, 2014

Watery Flanks

One of the best foods my mom fed me growing up was flank steak…which is a flat cut of quality meat. Yum. Thank you Mom.

I’m waiting for a text from my sister Laura that might say her water has broken. It’s almost baby cousin time and perhaps water breakage will be her go-time signal!

Today I read Exodus per my truant but still devout lectionary practice. The reading for the week of September 14th began with Exodus 14:19-31 Twice in the 12 verses,(verses 22 and 29) it says they passed through, “the waters forming a wall for them on their right and on their left.” They walked in redemptive rescue flanked on both sides by parted waters.

I am currently a watering widow. Our poor watering orphans have fared for themselves while we’ve been out moving sprinklers. We planted grass seed 9 days ago and are on day 9 of 15 of twice a day watering. When Drew is doing the hard and arduous work of watering, he’s absent from whatever’s going on inside for almost 30-40 minutes. Over and over this weekend, I turned to talk to him and realized he was outside.

Our walls of water, sprinklers in the front and back, are working…sweet green grass is growing. The freshness of the brand new, bright green, encourages me out of being grumpy over the time and money it costs us. The small seeds are embracing the saturation and releasing growth.

I’m writing a book (a series of downloadable e-books actually) with my aunt Tamara and the first is entitled Green Embraces. I’m just now realizing perhaps the title is coming true in my back yard. Water, hugging seeds, brings new life. Seeds, accepting the embrace, grows green.

The water walls in Exodus have stuck with me all day. Why write twice that the walls were up and down on both the right and the left? Being flanked by protection- insulation from the enemies on both sides, had to be assurance for a suffering people finally walking away from their torture.

God was generous then and continues to be. What provisions do I walked through, flanked in blessing?

What I have is two sprinklers that need to move. The watery moments continue around here and growth will ensue.

September 15, 2014

Torso to Torso

A bit of background:

Almost the same height! Well…within 4 inches or so! Throwback pic to 2008. Perhaps we’ve grown…or shrunk?

1. I am similarly height-ed to my husband. We photograph well cheek-to-cheek and can easily embrace.

2. I do not like physical contact.

The worst– having someone run their fingers through my hair, wrestling, being tickled, having my brother grab the back of my legs while I ran up the basement stairs in our house growing up.

The simply undesirable– most backrubs, wrestling, tackling games

But of course I do enjoy- snuggling my children, spooning Drew in sleep, hugging and holding my kids, side hugs to all friends/YL kids, embracing my adult family upon reunions, high fives

And now back to present day…

This weekend, we tasked ourselves with the physically taxing work of grass aerating, seeding, fertilizing, mulching, and the domino affect of weed pulling, poison ivy battling, lawn and leaf bag hauling, and extreme sprinkler watering!

All of that was Saturday…after I had had a sleepover with Andi-Girl on Friday night. It was preciously fun to snuggle with her, stay up late hearing her talk about what runs through her head, and then watch and listen to her sleep before I fell asleep myself. The night was less than completely restful however as Sister-Soo has kicky feet- all night long.

After being touched (kicked) all night Friday night, working all day Saturday, and then waking up with energetic (read: physically bouncing off the walls while singing and making repetitive noises) kids Sunday morning, I was ready for a break and headed to the gym for a solo workout at 8am. Bless Drew for letting me leave!

Hand on the garage door knob, head down in key search, I was suddenly assaulted with a tight leg hug from Andi. I would be gone an hour and she hadn’t neccessarily been paying attention to me while I was in the kitchen minutes before, but now, upon realizing I was leaving, she was motivated to grab, hold and hug me. I was of course grateful and felt the love- I was also and even more so, ready to get going. I lamely patted her head- hugging her briefly across her upper back, still standing erect myself, and then turned once again to go.

Three minutes into my drive, I realized my misstep. I wished I had dropped my purse, gotten down on my knees- evened my torso with Andi’s- and enveloped her fully in a “hug-back”.

Kids hugging adult legs is a half-hug. All the investment is on the child…little to no effort is made on the part of the adult to enter in with the shorter,younger, more uninhibited person, quite literally, on their level.

Arms are supposed to wrap about backs, torsos, and chests- not bony knees and impersonal thighs.

Arms should be met with arms.

So I’m thinking all this and resolve, in my head, to hug differently next time- to give and to receive hugs at the level of the other hugging-halfthe I drive on to the gym, endure the misery of the Kelly benchmark WOD and return to a family filled day.

THEN!….we watch The Lego Movie together as a family later last night. Mostly filled with races and chases, all over, the Lego Movie has great messages! I don’t ever want to watch it again, too much peril!- but I love the messages of personal self-worth and the impetus to create with the the mind, imagination, ideas, and personality given to you by the one who created all the bricks. I really wish I could write more intelligently about the meaning of the movie- it was thick and good.

The end of the movie is great and applies here. Oh, and I guess I might spoil it for those who haven’t seen it yet. I’ll attempt vagueness.

Lord/President Business spends most of the movie on gigantic stilts- towering above everyone and lording oppressive, controlling authority- desiring compete and solitary power. At the end, the ordinary Emmet offers him a chance to change- to choose a different way, to enter into the community instead of loom above it.

Lord Business

He literally removes his imposingly long and lofty legs and walks towards Emmet at the same height- 2 Lego inches high. They embrace.

Transversing time, world, and movie screen, the next minute depicts another tall, adult figure who drops to his knees to embrace his child.

A bent knee, a changed heart, an openness to connect. This is where we ought to live.

From our knees, maybe we listen better, look right into eyes, hug better, hold on longer, and can end up making the world great.

September 8, 2014

Us/Me Too

A picture of empathy from our own family past. A not sad Eli, comes alongside a distraught Andi…seeking to understand as only a brother can.

After someone shares a story, it’s an American, sometimes empathetic but all too often narcissistic, posture to respond, “You do? You have? You did? You liked it? You are?…..Well, Me TOO [or] Us TOO!”

Healthy and other centered listening tips instruct careful listeners not to interject into someone else’s story with our own. Instead, to ask more questions or provide a simple active listening prompt, “I hear you….Wow…Okay. Tell me more…”

Empathy says dig into the experience of another so much so that you begin to truly feel and understand what it’s like to be THEM in their experience. Empathy instructs us not to lay our own story on top of the one being told to us.

I’m not good at empathy naturally and listening is far down on my natural gifts scale…talking is much higher. I have lots of growing room and need help to humble myself enough to be changed.

On the other hand, saying “Me too!” can create community and connection, find similarities among strangers, or affirm good ideas. An appropriately placed “They did so….us too!” can inspire action, bolster confidence, or pass on wisdom.

Some concrete examples from my weekend, lest I babble in the abstract.

Here is a list of when to use “US TOO!” or when NOT to use “US TOO!” in my “I’m a total work in progress and a big screw-up often” opinion.

Go for it…toss a “Me too” or “Us too” out there, Example 1:

Drew: “I think standing on the floor of a concert makes it so much more of an experience. My body is engaged, I’m closer, there’s no way I would rather sit far away in a seat, in the stands”

Me: “The concert wimpy part of me wants to sit down for a minute but if you’re moving up into the crush of the floor crowd for the next band, me too!”

The result: Better views of the bands, human connection with fellow fans in a physically, sometimes uncomfortable way, but mostly in a way that opened us up to others, pushed us out of our bubbles, and let us go deeper into the music and the night.

Go for it…toss a “Me too” or “Us too” out there, Example 2:

Friend: Tells me a scary story about an almost life threatening incident over Labor Day weekend with kids at a pool. We discuss for over an hour the pulls of parenting- we want to give our kids space and confidence to explore the world on their own. We don’t want to hover over them, holding them back until we can be there, go before, and iron out every kink in their path. BUT, we MUST pay attention, wield fierce instincts, instill good decision-making skills into our little kids’ forming minds, and we must prevent any and all dangers we can. She said something like, “I can look back and learn so much from the story.”

Me: “Me too”, and her story has and should shape me, inspire me towards better parenting, and remind me of the gifts and miracles I have in the tiny bums that fill seats around my table. Shame on me if I don’t let this teach me. My “Me too” here is a pledge to be transformed and to rise up.

How about a different response? When NOT to use “Us too” Example 1:

Eli’s first soccer game: There is a giant disparity in the talent and experience of the two teams on the pitch (is that a soccer word?). Our team is NOT the one with goals in the teens. We have one goal, they have all the rest.

Overhead on the sideline in the second half: (Note: this is parents, not 8 year olds talking) “They are pushing our kids! The refs are not calling it. They aren’t calling anything! So…if the other team is going to push, Us too! Let’s just push them back. If those boys can get away with it today, we should too.”

I didn’t say anything. Inside my head, I agreed there seemed to be some unfairness in the match up, but don’t know enough about soccer reffing to blame the seemingly young (14? 15 year old?) refs on their first game of the season. More to the point, I did not want Eli to think that if someone else can get away with something that is not okay, all of a sudden, the offense becomes allowable, and he should do it too. For me, I was caught between the group think before me, and the conviction of raising my kid to think that the world does not owe him fairness, and that the rules don’t change because someone else is doing it. I wanted him to say, “Not me” even if it was only in how he played out the rest of the game. Athletic aggression, yes. Bitter retaliation, no.

How about a different response? When NOT to use “Us too” Example 2:

My sister: shares ideas about having a baby.

Me: “Me too! I blah blah blah blah blah” and a launch into a story from my own experience.

I cannot wait for Laura to have her baby and yet I fear I will take over her experience with MY mommy stories. Yuck! Yikes. How frustrating to want to tell someone your story and have them tell theirs, longer and louder! I want to walk the line of sharing wisdom I’ve gain in 8 years and yet also realize the world has changed, I’ve grown up through the parenting process and didn’t know it all at the beginning. I look back and see lots of what I learned, I learned by doing it myself, messing up, studying my kids, and putting my head next to Drew’s and hoping a great idea would come. I want to walk with Laura and love her baby but I do NOT want to overstep or oversay.

**This concept expands to include anytime anyone tells me about something they are doing that I also do: go to Colorado, do Crossfit, grow a garden, etc.. I know my “Me too”s must come only after their story is fully told and only if, adding mine would bring us together, add information, or deepen the conversation.

People are great. And as Jerry Sienfeld wisely says, “People…they’re the worst!”

We must be careful not to commiserate when we should confront instead. I want to empathize not proselytize. I will affirm, “Me too!” and talk for hours about a shared interest with a peer friend- all along the way, asking questions and shutting up with they speak.

I want to grow up kids who know when to say, “You’re drinking alcohol? NOT ME” as well as, “You’re going to try that really hard academic, athletic, artistic thing? Me too! Even if we fail, let’s try!” I hope their risks are taken boldly and wisely, and that their pain never comes on the heels of a negligent and uninformed “They are…so Me too”.

September 2, 2014

by Lindsey
in Faith, Hope and Love, Kitchen Conversations
Comments ( 0 )

Bits of Berthoud Pass

Throwing questions of legality and vehicular safety to the wind, I stopped on the side of US-40 near the peak of Berthoud Pass and picked up a piece of a mountain. Falling rocks roar and tumble past small trees, over mountain grasses, and careen and crash onto the roads, whenever they feel like it. That day in 2010, I was on a mission with my inlaws to collect a piece of the mountain to take back with us to our flatland homes in Missouri. To this day, to see it and step on it, is to remember moments of God’s goodness and movement at Crooked Creek Ranch, Young Life’s Frisco valley property.

This past Labor day weekend, as in the 3 days prior to my penning this post, I was back on Berthoud Pass and brought pieces of it home with me once again. Drew and I took our family to the road Thursday morning and sailed across I-70- landing in Denver by dinner time. We ate with Maama that night and slept comfortably in the cooler Colorado temps in our cozy beds.

We awoke for adventure early Friday morning. The plan: camping near Winter Park- reservations not accepted, tents, food totes and firewood required! Drew was the lone guy heading up with us and shouldered the load solidly. We loaded the van with sleeping bags, air filled sleeping pads, pots, pans, games, books, and headlamps. I rode up with Nat- candid conversation much needed between sisters who connect far too seldom. What a gift to listen to her life.

Idlewild campground was open and welcoming in the bottom of the Fraser Valley. Just past the entrance to Winter Park Resort, Idlewild sits nestled in trees, blanketed in green forest growth and alongside the Fraser River- a live sound machine. We would come to hear the train often and highway trucks occasionally- the chorus of civilization coming into the natural noise. We added our cheers, thanks, attention, and appreciation.

Site 15 gave Eli and Andi immediate and large amount of space to play, climb on logs, run up and down the mountain, meet new friend Christopher, and imagine a world in the woods. Oakley took to the dirt, the tents, and the always-outside with a smile and a nap by 1pm. We were set up long before lunch and relaxed all afternoon. Ahhh- bliss. The temperatures dropped markedly after the sun went to sleep. We huddled around the fire and then snuggled deep in too-light of sleeping bags. Kids needed more blankets despite sleeping in their sweat or ski pants! Missouri-mom fail. I did not pack enough warm clothes!!!

John joined the party Saturday morning and we took our smelly selves into town. We could walk the Fraser River trail .5 mile into downtown Winter Park. Skate park, play ground, grassy hills for cartwheels and rolling, and flushing toilets! We each found our little piece of indulgence: Eli’s in the skate park bowls, Andi with a dog, an aunt, and a Maama to play with, Oakley on a small concrete drainage path through the grass that he could run back and forth on with Aunt Nat right behind. The sun was warm and we had very little to do but be right there.

We hiked back to the camp site and our car for adventure number two! We drove to Winter Park mountain base and did the alpine slide. I do not want Oaks to grow out of being a baby and bemoan his adorable, personable and awesome speaking abilities because it means he is growing up very fast. However, when we learned he had to be two to ride the slide, I was ready to round up- just this once!

Oaks rode with me, Andi held her own, and Drew followed Eli as he leaned into the turns and never let up on that forward push. “I was really fast Mom. It was awesome. What was your favorite turn? What did you like the best? How do you think they built it? Those bumps are called Ripples, Maama. I can’t believe we can only do it once. I want to do it over and over. Even if it was raining, I never would have stopped.” Eli LOVED it and relived it for the rest of the night.

We got to play giant tumbling towers in the village, and then got to rent bikes and ride a pump track for free. Finally we flew over the parking lots in a bucket lift. I went to the bathroom 4 times in a flushing toilet during a day of “camping”. I agree with Eli, it was epic on many accounts.

Great food. Fun family. Lots of relaxing. New blankets from John. We enjoyed the rest of our camping trip in earnest, with story sharing, and s’more specialties. Turns out Nat is a bit of a s’more snob and no one was going to let her live it down.

Sunday was party day. We were showered and napped and ready to celebrate the wedding of Dad and Judy. Married in private in March, they were inviting the community to celebrate and acknowledge their marriage. We were glad we could come be a part and enjoy such a great party. The food was great, meeting family and seeing old friends was special. A new piece of family is growing.

The fun never stops. Monday morning was teeth cleaning time. Thanks to Maama for working on a day off! We checked out cavity free and packed up with ease. Per tradition, 7 years strong!- we stopped by Lakeside Amusement park for rides and memories with Nat, John, and Grandpa. There are just some things that an 108 year old park with a 74 year old coaster and duct taped doors on the spinning flipping ride, can offer that no where else can. Oaks joined the fear-free ranks of his siblings and rode the roller coaster, cars, boats, and the adult flying airplanes with me!

Today is let-down, transition, discover that our tire went flat in the car at home in our garage while we were traipsing around mountains in our van, day. I am picking the bits of Berthoud out of our lives in smaller portions than a boulder. I vacuumed dirt and pine needles out of the van and shook wood chips out of the dryer lint collector. Seems we wanted to keep a little bit of the beauty, the better-than-a-pine-candle-smell, and the memories of a mountain weekend in our pockets. We will settle for it’s imprint on our hearts.

August 11, 2014

What did we do this summer?

So glad you asked.

We celebrated:

photo 4 (6)

-April’s 60th birthday in Utah

-Quinton’s law school graduation in St. Louis, Hermann

-Memorial Day with my mom and Celebration at the Station- Oakley’s first fireworks!

-Father’s Day with my dad and the first party at our new house: Laura’s birthday

-Drew’s 33rd birthday (karaoke!!)

-Our 10th wedding anniversary (Michigan bliss)

-Eli’s 8th birthday (spins- beyblade tourney, a new ceiling fan, triple party desserts)

-Andi’s swim team spirit award (our first trophy!)

-My 34th birthday (Drew packed a party for me at the park!)

-Family- a reunion for the Henke side over the fourth of July

We got wet:

-Coves Swim Team! Go Crocs!

-Oaks and his water table

-Enjoyed a rainy and cooler June

-Watered the garden often in July

-Swam as a fam and with friends (Thanks for coming to the Coves Jae, Liv, and Hil!)

-That day our neighbors drained their pool and left the hose spraying in the street- too much free fun!

-used the pool as a bathtub for dirty summer kids

-sweaty Crossfit wods

I coached:

-Robyn in life

-Stefani and Darren in raising ministry support

-Olivia in Crossfit 1:1 fitness

-Eli, Andi, and Oakley in how to live out Phil 4:4 and 6-8

We waited:

-for the garden to grow

-for paint to dry (on the stairs, on the chairs, (see next week’s post on: “Paint and [the] Patience [I don’t have], on the wall hole patch)

-for Laura’s baby to grow and get ready to come be our cousin

-for Eli’s teeth to fall out

-for Oaks to wake up from a wonderful 3 hour nap so we could go to the skatepark, the pool, the store…

-for a letter with a name on it- teacher’s for a new year

We bought:

-flowers and dirt that grew beauty and sustenance

-drywall and paint to fix-up

-a lawnmower to last a long time

-1/4 of a grass fed cow (about 400lbs!) to eat for a long time

-car repairs

-summer produce! yum!

-ice cream that kept going on sale

-toys we really wanted: beyblades for Eli and a gumball machine for Andi (with their own money!)

-a vacation

-some childcare

We ate:

-outside on our new deck

-right off the vine! Blueberries from Melissa, cherry tomatoes from our garden, cherries while picking in Michigan

-with friends (Zach’s end of the summer party complete with pinata!, bagels with our bagel fairy Carol, at Westside Local before Sara’s show, at Blue Bird Bistro for my birthday, with the Meyers, the Graves, and at the new GG and Poppy house!)

-Sheridans, Chipotle, not enough dipped cones

-All local while on our annivesary vacay

-Popcorn for dinner last night which totally wowed our neighbor Will- he said he’d talk to his parents about new dinner ideas. I was sure to remind him I had also served zucchini, broccoli, fresh green beans, celery and hummus, and 3 red pepper strips.

We read:

-Eli devoured the How to Train your Dragon chapter book series, more Jake Maddox, and a Barbie book of Andi’s out of desperation while waiting for new ones to come in from our reserve list.

-Drew finished book 5 of Harry Potter and is starting Gone Girl with visions of Ben Affleck in his head

photo 2 (26)

-Andi started sneaking off with books and reading more and more on her own. She will read aloud with confidence and emphasis on the right words

-I’m reading a helpful book on parenting that reminds me to notice and encourage what I see in my kids and avoid anger, frustration, and lectures about what I’d like to see when they’re in the middle of doing the opposite.

-I’m reading fiction and books I’m writing with my aunt on identity.

-Oaks reads books on his own and begs for them before every sleep.

-We read Twitter, the KC Star, Instagram comments, Facebook feeds, some ingredient labels, and more instruction/how-to manuals than we’d like at times.

We adventured:

-bike riding for all! Oaks has a seat on the back of my bike…bless Drew for the hours of fiddling and working and reworking to get it to work.

-Worlds of Fun/Oceans of Fun- thanks to the most energetic, in shape, and ready to roll Geeg around!

-by learning new things…swimming strokes, names of neighbors, ways to fix walls, doors, toilets, ….

-in building an arcade and creating a restaurant in our basement

-in reconciliation and forgiveness, in messing up and trying to do better

We rested:

-After a hosting-happy June, and a celebratory July, we’ve had some weekends without going or hosting in our house for the past three weekends. Granted we have filled the with some painting, furniture purchasing, re-painting, staining, protecting and re-upholstering…and two Saturday night fun nights with food outside and good friends, we really have chilled out a little bit.

-We’ve said no to mid week opportunities.

-I’ve said no working when there were kids right here and worked another time instead

-We’ve let bathrooms go two weeks between major cleaning and the kitchen floor major mop stayed in a slumber for almost a month

–We had home church yesterday. Drew got out his guitar and songs. We sang “Into your arms” first which Drew sang to me on an early date at a park in college (When were we ever, “take a guitar to a park and sing” kind of people, you wonder? Just that one night!). Then we sang “Somebody’s calling out your name”. It’s a classic echo. After singing it once through together. I asked Andi if she would just sing it with Daddy, believing she would actually find the key that eluded Eli and me in our echo attempt. Sure enough, sweetly and with confidence that sometimes falters, she sang after Drew…”Somebody’s calling our your name…Somebody’s ready to forgive…Somebody knows what’s in your heart..” Precious moment.

Then we read from the Action Bible…at first silly and all 2nd gradey- at one line, when he read, “and with God’s POWER”, Eli pumped his fist in the air. Somewhere in there, he’s grasping towards a God who has energy and excitement to match his own.

We ended with a blessing, a la the Loft- Jacob’s Well preschool style. “God made you, God blesses you, God loves you, God is with you”

We touched foreheads, spoke the words and passed it on. When Oaks had watched everyone else, he got up and touched his finger to Drew’s forehead, then mine, then Andi’s, and then Eli’s. Then headed back to Drew. He was delivering a blessing, with a touch and a smile that sent us out to live, changed by summer, touched by Christ and loved by each other.

Tonight is back to school night and Wednesday is School Day number 1. The first day at a new school, in 1st and 2nd grades, Andi and Eli will adventure out to make new friends and learn new things.

Thanks to summer, I’ve done a little of both myself.

August 4, 2014

Short and Sweet

Inspired by Seth Godin in his poignant brevity- here’s my attempt at being brief and still marking a moment.

Balloons on a porch: For the second time in her life, Andi was greeted with balloons tied to our porch in her honor. This summer’s balloons were to wish her luck swimming in her relay race as a swim team alternate at conference. Seeing the poster and balloons moved me…someone else was cheering Andi on, honoring her efforts, wishing her success. The only other time she’s had porch balloons was to welcome her into the world- her grandma and brother waiting on the porch as we drove home from the hospital. We were ready to cheer her on, wishing her life and success.

A packed church pew: I looked around last week at church to see some pews packed full of folks and other pews quite empty. I was sitting in a packed pew myself- choosing to squeeze in so we could sit with some of our family and near our friends. It was worth it to sit close, community without the chance for much talking. The squish worth the connection.

Lost and found: This week a camera my inlaws lost in St. Louis was returned. The QT employee who found it, waited for someone to claim it. When they didn’t, he looked for clues in pictures and found Oakley’s baptism certificate. Googling from there, he found my blog, his girlfriend messaged me on Facebook and we connected to get the camera returned!

Love: “Love keeps no record of wrongs” (1 Corinthians 13:5). Does love also keep no record of being right? I want transformation, by Love and because of love, in both.

July 28, 2014

by Lindsey
in Faith, Hope and Love, Kitchen Conversations
Comments ( 0 )

An answer from underneath

Things are not always what they seem.

At first glance, upon entering, or after an introduction, assumptions are made. Is this thing, this place, or this person what I’m thinking now, or might there be something more, or at least, a great explanation for what is?

Moving into our house at the end of April and settling in throughout the summer, the revelations of what we’ve moved into continue to unfurl: exciting bonuses (our kids are sleeping so much better in their own rooms than in one room all together!) and some disheartening setbacks (ugh- a small piece of tape is pulling off ceiling paint and drywall in the living room…seems some of the paint might not be sealed properly).

We are getting to know the house and how we work within it’s walls. Squeaks are sounding familiar, the smell is more our own, and space is being used for food, family, fun, or work with more efficiency. We love it here.

One of the early quirks we encountered after move-in day was that our backyard hose spigot did not work. The handle would turn and turn but no water would come out. We spent the first few weeks watering the garden from 20 yards away- straining the front yard hose to reach as far as it possibly could.

It was discouraging and we had no idea who to call or what to do about a broken spigot. This was no ordinary spigot either; it’s handle was a bird. Despite the character it added, it seemed even more to complicate what we couldn’t figure out…where was the water?!

My friend Sara came to hang out one morning and help with some small projects. She comes from an extremely handy family, grew up on an almost-farm in Savannah, MO, and did a lot with FFA in high school. Give this girl a hammer, or ask her to identify a quality pig at an ag show, and she’ll excel! Sara came that day with her two small kiddos as a blessing to me and as my friend. We enjoyed catching up and got some work done around my house: hung some shelves and played “That’s a weed…That’s a plant” around the back yard.

On our backyard walk, I showed Sara the hose problem. She said, “It might be turned off from the inside.” In fact, one other person had suggested this but then, and even now with Sara, I didn’t know what that really meant or how to take action. Sara knew.

We went to the basement and she found a small cut-out in the ceiling down there. Peeking up, she found the answer. There was a knob, that looked like a spigot knob, right up there in the basement ceiling! I reached through spider webs and with wonder, turned it 5 times- lefty-loosey.

Back to the backyard, we turned the bird…and out sprayed water! What I had thought was a major problem, was actually an easy fix. The water was just shut off to protect pipes and hose. Someone had taken care to prepare the hose for proper use, not to derail my summer gardening plans after all! Daily, the bird shares her bounty and the effect is production of sustenance. The garden is indeed bearing fruit!

Our haul from today!

I wonder how many other times I’ve looked at the surface of something, or even someone, and drawn errant conclusions? Maybe our first impressions, our immediate assumptions, are not to be given much credence. Instead, digging deeper, asking questions, seeking to understand or getting to the root- being open to transformation in our own minds, will make us a better person in the world and help us get the best results in what we seek.

July 21, 2014

Eight Epic Years of Eli

Eli’s 8th birthday was July 17th. We were home in Kansas City for this one for the first time since 2008. Eli had his first and second birthday’s here and then has celebrated each new year of life at Castaway- each one a memorable and wonderful celebration with new friends and sweet community- and a zipline! Eli was grateful and fully engaged in each of those but yearned for one year of a birthday at home.

As we talked and planned, Eli wasn’t keen on a water party at the pool or home. He didn’t want a lot of games or to go somewhere with a bunch of friends. After sharing some ideas and talking it out, he and I settled on a home family party and a trip to Worlds of Fun with some friends.

As the date for the “family” party drew near, the guest list expanded. I invited the Sollar’s five and Eli invited some friends from the swim team. We planned a bey blades* tournament (*”bey blades are basically completely awesome, extreme metal spinning tops” that “battle” each other 1:1 in a plastic stadium. Last one spinning wins.- Eli’s explanation) and picked out some items for the menu. When I asked what he wanted for an appetizer, Eli suggested root beer floats like we had at our wedding. Always game for RB floats at a party, I said yes!

A couple days before the Thursday party, Eli and I were butting heads a bit. He had great expectations and I couldn’t seem to please him. Nothing I bought or suggested was quite right. Eli is particular, thinks about all sides of something, has a rock solid memory, loves being right and often is, and has elaborately creative ideas that make something ordinary into an experience. Last week, some of his strengths, were pushing me into my weaknesses- ie: impatience, in the midst of the party planning.

I had a strong emotional moment Wednesday night- birthday eve. Eli said he probably wouldn’t like the ice cream I’d carefully and proudly selected for him, and I, with all the maturity I’ve developed in almost 34 years, took it as a deeply personal insult. I’m sure Eli didn’t understand why I was hurt by an ice cream comment and he shouldn’t fully have to. I had thoughts and emotions and memories, hopes, dreams, questions, and love that I had to process. Thankfully, Drew was home to take over while I took a shower- letting the 8 years of being Eli’s mom, flow through my head.

Eli was a wonderful surprise. We were unprepared to be parents until he was set in our arms- at which point, I felt the most overwhelming sense of role affirmation I’ve ever felt. On July 17th, 2006- I held him and took him in with my heart, head, and eyes and knew, felt, and grasped- he was mine, I was his, and I would take care of him.

Eli made me a mommy and is still showing me how to make good mom moves and love selflessly. I’m no expert but I do think parents are to love without condition- taking the child given to them as a gift, stewarding their life, studying their person, and seeking to ensure they grow up smart, strong, and secure. To love without receiving love in return is a Christ-like quality I seek as a mom and find impossibly hard to enact at times.

Last week, I wept with gratitude. I am in awe of who Eli is. I love how amazing and wonderful, smart, intuitive, strong, coordinated, personable, communicative, engaging, fun, funny, playful, passionate, adventurous, brave, friendly, confident, and creative he is. I appreciate his innate sense of wonder and passion to learn as well as his deep desire for speed, the extreme, and excitement!

I wept also for how hard being a mom was just then. Perhaps because we’re the same or maybe because he’s more stubborn and of a greater intelligence than me, we sometimes disagree. I wanted so badly for his birthday to be wonderful and all he wanted it to be. I wanted him to appreciate the efforts I was making and lower his expectations of others- it was okay if someone came without a gift. I wanted him to have fun and wanted him to show respect and gratitude.

The dreams I have for my kids are simple:

I want them to be secure in how loved they are as a child of God and a kid in our family.
I want them to make a difference in the world doing what they feel excited about.
I want them to serve and love other people as Jesus does.

I am fully confident Eli will do all of these things despite the days I don’t win a blue ribbon for mom excellence. I believe God’s new mercies every morning and the way we’re living together as a family, will give Eli a foundation from which he can run, jump, read, dream and excel.

“Epic” is Eli’s new word and epic describes who he is, what he can do now and will do as he grows up. These past eight years are undoubtedly some of the best of my life. Eli is a indescribably good gift and I’m honored to have a front row seat in witnessing his wins and walking with him through the lows.

The party was a big win. Everyone came. The tournament was high energy and high volume. Eli’s adults friends, grandparents, aunts and uncles were gracious participants. Eli had an epic time and was indeed grateful, appreciative, and by the end, exhausted!

In bed, my head spun and spun that night- just like the amazing bey blade straight from Japan that Eli got as a present. I was happy and amazed: 8 is half way to driving, 8 is a long way from a 6lb baby and 8 is great!